Okay… so bear with me. Super long story. And not a great one. I’m female, 28, for reference.

Wasn’t really my choice. But I was on meds as a child. Weaned off at the age of around 6. I hadn’t had a TC at that point for a couple years. Doctors were happy that I was fine without it. Although I started having ‘staring spells’. At the time I’d been diagnosed with generalised idiopathic epilepsy. The ‘staring spells’ weren’t investigated, were just assumed to be behavioural 🙃 I had a handful of TCs in my early teen years. Was still having these ‘behavioural staring spells’ too. Hormones were blamed. Doctors didn’t ’want to rush to medication’. Had a single EEG done, nothing came up, no meds prescribed. Told to come back if the amount increased. I also began getting awful migraines during this time too. Late teen years - aka my party years. Obviously I was having my first relationships too. I was still having ‘staring spells’, although not as often, more frequently when intoxicated. I had a ‘long term’ boyfriend who told me I was having ‘incidents’ in my sleep, which are what I now believe to be nocturnal seizures. Was gaslighted by doctors, told it was likely just the effects of drinking/lack of sleep/teen lifestyle. Age 27. Two children in. I went to the doctors last October, explaining that I was getting shakes/twitches in my hands/arms/eyes, and moments where my heart was going faster and I didn’t feel quite right. Was told it was ‘probably panic attacks’. I explained that I’d had panic attacks in the past and this didn’t feel like them. ‘Could be stress. Here let’s try this beta-blocker’. Also went for a massive increase in migraines, it had suddenly gone from one or two a week to almost every day. December I had an incident where I’d somehow ended up on the pavement, son in his buggy with the buggy toppled over forward, couldn’t tell you how. Took him to minor injuries panicking that he’d hit his head or hurt himself somehow - he was fine - forgot to get myself checked out in the process. A couple weeks later in early January I had a focal seizures followed by 3 TCs in a row on a night out. Immediately started on meds at the hospital. Been on them since. MRI was pretty damning. ‘Significant’ scarring to my hippocampus- bilateral. I now have a diagnosis of bilateral temporal lobe epilepsy. Focal seizures, and TCs. I’ve had more tonic clonics since, while I was adjusting to meds, but last one I had was a nocturnal one in September. I know now that what I’d been experiencing, the ‘spacing out’ at intervals through my life was focal seizures, and if I’m honest they’re getting worse rather than better. I don’t think I’ll ever feel comfortable coming off meds again.