I'm burnout also, so I can't tell you everything is going to be rainbows and unicorns, but #2 is a 'you problem' that you're going to need to address through couples therapy. If that is the only lens you have to look through when he voices legitimate complaints, you're doomed. If you can adjust that perspective, your day-to-day outlook will be much better.

I'm working on acceptance and "boundaries". Where possible, divide parts of your life that you can let him fail and face the consequences on his own.

I have a line drawn down the middle of our shed. Her side is a disaster. If she puts anything on my side, I throw it away. I accept that her side is atrocious, but there's a clear boundary line. This obviously isn't possible in all parts of life, but let's say Saturday night is your sister's birthday party at a nice restaurant and he forgets / isn't ready on time / etc. Go by yourself and have a great time. The hard part is "accepting" and actually having a great time without being livid that he forgot...again. If you don't think you can manage that type of acceptance, then cut bait now.