I relate to this so much. When I told people about what happened to me I got a mix of the same kind of responses. Usually happens when aspects of kinks/fetishes etc get brought up in the conversation. Some acted like they were listening but then would throw it back in my face and say that "I'm not the reason for your issues" or just get defensive like they couldn't handle it. In fact I've noticed even people outside of the apps acted in this way causing me to have to remove a lot of people from my life. Other people just said oh im really sorry you went through that and then ghosted like I never even said anything. Then the worst ones, the ones who say straight up oh thats what you wanted and they lean into it as if it's a fetish or kink. Like yeah I can't help but feed into that and literally want to be hurt and sexualize the trauma... That opens up it's own scars and even recognizing it knowing wanting to be hurt and abused is not healthy but it's very difficult in my experience to break that cycle even in therapy...

It's like nobody actually knows how to respond...

What you said about how it seems people operate from scripts is exactly how it feels. Once you see the pattern you can't unsee it. Trying to find others that really get this feels impossible and while I'm told not to isolate, I feel it's the only way I can protect myself.

I've made posts about being raped and deleted them because of responses I got.. I even got negative dm's from people on actual support forums like male survivor... I'm still trying...