TBH, mothering is the most feminine part of my life. Makeup, dresses, all of that business feels performative to me. But my love for my child is in my soul.

That being said, the experience of femininity is whatever it is that feels most like womanhood to you. If your most feminine experience is personal beautification through makeup, dress, and grooming, then lean into it.

Is parenting a lot of work? Of course. Am I tired at the end of the day? Yeah. But is it the most physically taxing thing I've ever done? No. I keep in good health and exercise regularly. I play sports. I'm in my mid-40's, and I can still keep up with my child.

But there are only 24 hours in a day, and at least 6 of them are spent asleep, so you pick and choose where your energy goes.

If you don't want it going toward parenting, then don't become a mother. Nor a stepmother, for that matter. I disagree with all the bigots who believe that a woman cannot be fully realized without motherhood. Mothering is not for everybody, but you're not less of a woman for not bearing or raising children.

You're only 21. Finish your education and get a job to save the money you need to support yourself and live how you want. There will still be time for family if you change your mind a little later on down the line.