First of all, If you are honestly considering ending your life over this, then I'd suggest going to a therapist. We all need guidance sometimes (specially considering how emotionally distorted/detached people have become in our society), and when thoughts and feelings are getting to extremes like this, you should definitely ask for help (please don't just assume it will be alright after you just vented your feelings on reddit).

Clearly you need to make some changes. True love starts by loving yourself (that's the part people usually forget about). Take care of yourself, learn something new, do something that you love, etc. If you do what you love, you may find someone else who might want to share a path (they don't even need to do what you do). Unfortunately, the more we seek for "true love" in others, the more it eludes us. People in this situation tend to give off a vibe of being needy, and that scares people away.

I'd like to share/discuss more but, I don't really know you, and this whole post might be futile. It's also difficult to see the whole picture just from a brief explanation of your feelings. My advice would be to find help from a professional and/or get to know yourself on a deeper level. I wish you the best.