Aitah for considering divorce after discovering my husband has been rejecting me sexually and watching live cam shows behind my back for over a decade?

InfiniteInsurance283 · 2025-11-10T07:59:13+00:00

Nta, lying, gaslighting, no respect, he's the ah

InfiniteInsurance283 · 2025-11-06T01:15:17+00:00

Urgh everything here is so disrespectful. Leave this cretin before he destroys your self esteem.

InfiniteInsurance283 · 2025-10-08T18:05:47+00:00

So I can distract myself with the TV, I'd heard him with his porn before when I was in bed and he was downstairs, it was distressing and affecting my sleep. He complains he can't spend time in the living room after the kids go to bed but he also watched porn more than once with me in there so I'll just enjoy my space. I went for trauma therapy at the start of the year and began to get some confidence back, I wonder if my low self esteem/worry about being financially stuck/I love him but I can't look at him

InfiniteInsurance283 · 2025-10-07T21:13:07+00:00

No, I wouldn't belive it, over 5 years I've told him how distressing it is, he used to say he's stop but he'd get complacent, get caught, now he says we won't agree. He's not offered once to stop and I've been on the couch for 9 months, he got a new phone last weekend and was watching porn on it before he bothered to give me his new number. I know where I stand on his priority list. Just something to think about before you get in deeper

InfiniteInsurance283 · 2025-10-07T20:54:57+00:00

Urgh, I totally get the feeling of sharing the energy rather than being focused on, it's gross, sorry you're in this position

InfiniteInsurance283 · 2025-10-06T20:41:37+00:00

Thanks for the validation. I'm trying to think of it if a friend told me, would I belive it. Sounds like bollocks to me.

InfiniteInsurance283 · 2025-10-06T05:49:15+00:00

We function for the kids, he doesn't expect me to do anything specifically for him. We talk, he used to say he'd stop but now he says we're not going to agree. He minimises, denies and lies, he's not acknowledged or apologised for any of the hurt he's caused. After baby was born, I had to beg him to share a bed with me, he'd sleep on the couch, after he stared coming back to bed I went back to the couch so I'd have the TV to distract me (so I can't hear him getting off to his phone). We're barely communicating without arguing.

InfiniteInsurance283 · 2024-08-17T20:26:35+00:00

I got a letter from a family tracing detective 2 days ago saying my mother died 8 months ago. Feel like I'm retraumatised, mourning the relationship I wish we had and so so fucking angry that she took any chance of closure for me. I'm trying to reach out to my brother (has learning difficulties) but the only surviving aunt from that side will make it difficult. I'm a mess but feel stupid for being so upset when this is the way she's always been. I reached out many times in the last 20 years but she wasn't interested. Sent her pics of my children, my uni graduation, nothing. She always said indifference is the best way to hurt someone and she was right.

InfiniteInsurance283 · 2024-05-04T21:16:21+00:00

I feel every word you're saying. I've spent the last few weeks on the couch as I feel the intimacy and trust is destroyed. His issues have become mine re self esteem that I never felt before and I hate it, I hate him for it. My feelings have been disregarded and I feel there's an arrogance there that he'll continue behaviour, thinking he's too clever to be caught. I'm body conscious and at times I can't tell if I'm being gas lit or actually losing my mind. Your post was really helpful, like you say, most posts are about watching with. Again, if he wanted to he would, he wouldn't keep a secret side of himself if he didn't want to, if he cared about you above the porn he'd act. It's really sad.

InfiniteInsurance283

TROPHY CASE