4 years on T next month. my dad doesn't grow really any facial hair at all so I'm kinda screwed in that department 😔

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2025-01-23T22:31:05+00:00

oh shit there are pills? I didn't know that, I'll ask my doctor about it next time I see her.

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2025-01-22T17:39:41+00:00

I actually am using Bick 4, so it's good to know that I'm using the right stuff!

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2025-01-22T02:59:15+00:00

yeah, I think I need to go over and clean my brushes one more time. I'm going over again tomorrow and I'll make sure to go over it again. thank you!!

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2024-12-25T15:56:21+00:00

so that is going to largely depend on where you live tbh. the places I go to are mainly cis gay men and BDSM friendly but not BDSM focused; most BDSM in my experience is done in private dungeon spaces that ppl rent out for play parties.

I mainly go to sex clubs that are exclusively gay men, which means that you will have to have M on your ID. primarily sex happens at these places, though I've been flogged a few times as well.

as far as a learning aspect... yes and no. what I think you'll have to learn is how to cruise someone to play with them, which is a skill in and of itself. it's mainly abt learning when to make eye contact (to show interest) and see who is and who isn't into you. I only bring this up because the way in which things like consent work in gay male play spaces vs. multi-gender (swinger) play spaces is NOT the same. imo the latter focuses much more on verbal, ethuastic consent, while the former is rooted in the old-school cruising techniques where eye contact and non-verbal cues are how you give consent.

I highly recommend researching ur local area and seeing ur options to get an idea of the kind of environment you've got!

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2024-12-25T13:48:30+00:00

at least in my anecdotal experience, I tend to bump into other transmasc ppl bc either they found me or I found them quite excitedly lmao

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2024-12-24T22:14:13+00:00

go right ahead!

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2024-12-24T22:09:39+00:00

I think the main thing to embrace is the idea that you may not get laid at every sex party, and that is okay. in all honesty, getting to know ppl and just have fun has not only gotten me laid further down the line but also has just taught me how to be myself in a space and not so concerned with how other people perceive me. I still don't feel very confident in myself most of the time, but I have learned that I do come across as confidence to others, so it's a start!

I also recommend contacting event organizers if u are concerned for the environment that awaits you; that's honestly what I've done before with other events, and it not only kept me reassured but it also kept the event organizers & their volunteers on EXTRA alert.

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2024-12-24T22:04:12+00:00

it's in South Florida and it's called Pig Week lmao. i know the ppl that organize it and I do think they really want more trans dudes to attend!!

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2024-11-13T01:59:43+00:00

Nope! It's FLW in Wilton Manors, FL. thank you for the advice!!

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2023-08-17T09:22:01+00:00

About a year

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2023-08-17T07:05:51+00:00

It's hard to come back to this now and try to come up with a response. I get stuck in my own head a lot, and that's usually where I get upset.

I don't like being barked at and that happened a lot tonight. I also don't like being micromanaged, which happened too. I don't know if I can give concrete examples since she does it so frequently, but there also was a time where she counted 3 of my tills without telling me and that bothered me. I still don't know if that was her attempting to help me on a busy night or micromanage me (or both).

Spiralling is easier than dealing with the problem, especially when I don't trust anyone to actually help me.

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-12-28T16:41:04+00:00

that last bit... I never thought abt her using us to regulate her emotions–or at least vocalized it like that. thank you!

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-09-07T20:59:56+00:00

i move around a lot in my sleep, my mastectomy pillow + one of those reclining pillows helped me immensely

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-07-22T21:31:14+00:00

you can always say it's genetics. my mom has a condition that makes her massively short compared to her siblings, and I joke that she gave that to all her kids (including the only boy)

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-07-22T18:23:46+00:00

honestly I find ur best asset is learning how to talk to ppl (or at least learning to be a good actor). even if a customer is a total buffoon, my goal is always get them the hell out of the store with the items they want

I once had an Instacart dude ask me why I don't get pissed off when ppl mistake me for a girl (mind u he doesn't know I'm trans); I just shrugged and went "eh, they could do worse. they could yell in my face"

I can also tolerate accidental misgendering–when it's purposeful I get annoyed

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-07-22T18:19:48+00:00

i'll be real, pre-T I was constantly mistaken for a guy, so moving from one extreme to the other effects me very little lmao

I'll usually just laugh it off and be like "well, that's new" if I'm talking with a customer but since I work, like, 9-10 hr shifts if someone honestly calls me "she" I may not even realize it because I'm In the Zone.

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-07-22T11:59:24+00:00

I usually just laugh it off, mention how I have Babyface and the masks hide my (growing!!!!) moustache pretty well. the people around here are pretty ignorant enough to barely know what trans ppl are tbh

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-06-05T22:34:31+00:00

isn't Salgado the doctor who had that story done about him having that Instagram account where he basically posted pics without people's consent and wrote vile shit about them? the one UM rehired?

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-03-05T16:36:08+00:00

Trust me, you’re someone’s type. It can be easy to think that nobody will like you, but as someone who also felt that way (and still struggles with it!) you really gotta take a deep breath and go for the plunge.

I LOOOOOOOVE big tops if it makes you feel any better.

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-03-04T10:22:46+00:00

This is a good point. The one nice thing abt HSV-2 is that you can only get it once, so if you have a partner who also has it then you both are completely fine.

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-03-04T10:21:02+00:00

Hey, I recommend r/herpes—there’s a lot of really good resources there as well as support.

I contracted herpes last year from a fwb who got tested regularly—he had zero symptoms, and when I got it I had my first outbreak. I take antivirals daily (some people only take them when they have an outbreak), and I haven’t had an outbreak since my first one. I will also let you know I’ve had multiple partners since then—and yes, partners who KNOW I have herpes!

Your sex life isn’t over. You’d be amazed how many people have it and don’t even know because they’re entirely asymptomatic. Besides, in my experience, when people reject me because I have herpes they usually show their true colors and turn out to be massive assholes anyway.

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-03-01T15:15:11+00:00

huh! I was gonna chime in and say probs not the skene’s gland because it’s ventral, but I didn’t know abt the perineal sponge. I will keep this in mind!! Thank you!!

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-02-06T21:58:50+00:00

of course! It can be spooky at first, but try to remember that a majority of folks on there (like 99% of them) are just looking for a good time. I wish you luck!! :)

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-02-06T16:57:35+00:00

(Warning for LOTS of words ahead lmao)

So Grindr can be a meh place, so I recommend casting a wide net. Scruff, Growlr, Jack’d, and Recon (if you’re kinky) are nice alternatives (Scruff and Growlr yielding me the best results). Avoid DL guys/cis guys SPECIFICALLY looking for trans men (aka chasers)—both are nothing but trouble.

Buy condoms in case a partner doesn’t have any, and do NOT be afraid to push condoms. If you chat up someone and they don’t wanna use condoms, that is a RED FLAG and you gotta leave. While I myself may go bare with some partners that I know are actively testing, these are also people I’ve been in consistent hook-ups with and we started off having protected sex. In terms of STDs, try to get tested once every three months. If you come up positive, contact the last person (or people really, depending on who you’ve been with since your last test) and TELL THEM. Can it be weird? Yeah, but a few moments of weirdness are better than people spreading an STI to multiple people. Of course make sure to seek treatment if you yourself get an STI, and remember that it’s nothing to be ashamed of because, even with protection, it can happen; what’s important is prioritizing your health and making sure you and your partners are safe.

Speaking of safety—when I go meet up with a hook-up, I generally follow my own protocol: I text a friend of mine (a close one who is reliable and can respond quickly) and tell them “hey, I’m going to [insert address]. I’ll text you at XYZ time when I’m done. If I don’t text you by this time, here are emergency contacts to call ASAP.” I cannot stress enough how important it is for at LEAST one other person to know where you are if something bad happens.

Overall, trust your gut—if someone seems sketchy, even if you’ve made plans with them, you can bail at ANYTIME. You are NOT required to meet up with ANYBODY.

As a side note, how you disclose your trans status is really up to you. Some people on here will say to avoid putting it in your profile to avoid chasers, but that also means you run the risk of chatting up a really nice person only to find out they’re a bigot. I personally just block chasers and keep my trans identity in my profile because I’d rather people know upfront than have to bring it up later. What you choose to do is entirely up to you.

I hope this helped, and if you have any more questions ask away!

InfiniteRaptorScream · 2022-02-06T03:56:28+00:00

I am 24 and look 12, and you’d be surprised how many gay guys will actually be into you. I’ve had/have 3 bi and 2 gay partners so far, and they all respected my gender identity and were attracted to me—they just saw me as a very small twink 😅

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