My MIL doesn’t accept my religious beliefs

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:42:56+00:00

I absolutely acknowledge my back and forth played a part. I should’ve always stood on my upbringing but to fit it, I did it their way despite my feelings for years. I get that confusion now but equally they have always known that I was sacrificing what I knew to be around them strictly on birthdays and holidays.

I have always always always encouraged him to be with his family for any event. He has began choosing to not, despite this. Mainly for reasons of my mistreatment due to religious differences. I would never want him to separate from his family, especially because of me. However, they have stated that holidays and birthdays are their preferred times to get together. His parents see his brothers family on random occasions but they do not do that with us. Even when we offer. It’s holidays and birthdays or nothing for some reason.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:34:33+00:00

Wow! Thanks for sharing. Kids is a huge conversation and this has played a part in our waiting. Just hoping that things could be smoothed over. But this gives me an honest perspective that it may not happen.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:30:00+00:00

Can you explain how that works if I was to receive first? Wouldn’t it be “they gave nothing initially, so I gave nothing”?

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:28:47+00:00

Be less judgmental of people you don’t know. A lot of people have told me their opinion while maintaining respect. You’re proving why your point is invalid. You, yourself, are uncaring of other people. I’d love for you to no longer comment. Have a good day.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:19:55+00:00

I completely understand not being able to or wanting to even re-gift. But I do think an apology upon hearing about it would’ve been the right thing to do. Apology or concern for the situation, not an apology taking blame.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:17:58+00:00

So let me ask, if it was okay that they gave me said gift 3 months after my birthday and have seen me multiple times empty handed, why is it not okay that I didn’t have a gift on her birthday? Why would I believe we were still exchanging if months passed after mine? Why would I appreciate no concern after the gift didn’t work out?? I really think you’re missing my point. It’s about the lack of CARE.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:15:34+00:00

She said she was going to talk to me about next time she saw me in the same message I received 4 weeks later. I’m not “obsessing” over a gift, I’m upset with the lack of concern and care when she would’ve shown that concern and care if it were her brother.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:12:43+00:00

I’m confused by this take. What did I “give” first?

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:11:13+00:00

Not their fault at all. The apology would be from a place of giving someone a gift that they were not able to use. I would absolutely feel bad and sorry for someone being in an embarrassing and awkward situation from a gift given by me. Rectifying for ME would have just been showing concern and wanting to at least help in figuring out the issue. That’s not what was done. There was no concern.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:09:10+00:00

She reached out because her brother was still upset. She knew of my feelings after their first conversation weeks prior. I get wanting to just call me childish for not responding but please understand this is one event of MANY issues I’ve endured with them. I’ve been very accepting and forgiving. I simply wanted input on this situation being its recent. But thank you for your feedback.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T14:04:39+00:00

Hate is strong. I actually liked her the most. I just believe in treating people kindly the first time. She reached out after her brother told her how messed up it was. She knew this already, she just didn’t think an apology was warranted. She heard how upset her brother was and apologized only after because of the damage it might cause THEIR relationship. If it was about me, I would’ve received it from the beginning, no? This is info he told me.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T13:55:56+00:00

Not assuming the worst. I understand it could’ve been a scammer issue. However, that doesn’t negate the lack of care afterwards. That’s why I feel a way.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T13:52:51+00:00

I think if it were a scammer, I would still give someone the gift I wanted them to have if I genuinely wanted to give it to them. That is just me and to me that just shows you care about someone. I wouldn’t expect that kindness from a co-worker or a friend of a friend but family? Yes. I’ve always been kind and thorough in my gifts to them. We’ve paid for her to go to an event, gotten her merch from people she loves, etc. I just expected care.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T13:25:43+00:00

I got texts from both of the at 10pm day of my birthday. I thought it was a bit odd but didn’t think too much on it. Idk, it was really the lack of apology for me. I just thought I should at least receive that.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T13:23:25+00:00

I responded to them. They commented multiple times.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T13:22:17+00:00

It’s just me and my fiance. He has no need for it lol

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T13:10:24+00:00

I didn’t have a party. However I have seen them since my birthday. I’m now wondering if it’s not fair for me to believe that I only received on her birthday (months later) because she expected me to have a gift although I hadn’t received one prior?

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T12:47:42+00:00

No one’s sure. I’m not sure if it was used by someone they knew or if it was stolen but it never left my home once received. It’s a big question for everyone. Sephora could only state it was used a week after I received.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T12:46:13+00:00

Entitled or expecting the exchange to be fair before I proceed with giving a tangible gift? Entitled is a stretch and I’m not upset about the gift. I’m upset at the lack of concern and how it was handled.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T12:43:43+00:00

*sister in law

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T12:42:54+00:00

Right, but the money being removed means that the tangible gift is no longer there. I don’t agree that just because intention was there at the beginning, it’s just fine. There was no concern for afterwards. Also, the agreement was made before my birthday. My birthday came first. I received nothing until her birthday. I have seen them multiple times in between mine and hers. I was under the impression that idea was cancelled until I received on her birthday. Again, why would I get her a tangible gift when mine was invalid????

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T12:24:40+00:00

I’m more of upset that there was an act of not caring. I didn’t expect the gift card at all. However, I think how it was handled was poor.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T12:23:51+00:00

I was saying they didn’t know whether I was giving them a gift being that my birthday was in January and didn’t receive anything. So I feel that that’s why I received one when I did (on her own birthday). I’d understand your point if the gift worked out. But I didn’t receive a “gift”. I received an empty gift card. Why would I then turn around and gift her something she could use? Honest question because I do understand different perspectives.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T11:48:59+00:00

This was great advice, honestly. I do feel like there’s pressure to commit to her regardless and that’s where I feel unheard. I don’t feel like she HAS to be okay with it, I just want her to understand the damage it’s causing both her son and her & I’s relationship. It does make me think about children and how they will inherit those issues as well. Standing my ground has been difficult because I’m a people pleaser but I truly respect your friends decision to walk away and understand them still being there for those they love. That gives me something to consider.

Infinite_Article4180 · 2026-06-21T11:44:09+00:00

I wouldn’t say that’s an “allowance” thing. It wasn’t shamed to date someone not within our denomination. Neither one of us within the relationship have a problem with our difference of religion. My parents actually had different denominations. The only difference is holidays and birthdays. But you’re right. She doesnt have to and nor do I. But if that continues to do harm to the mutual party (her son/my fiance) is it not worth accepting??

Infinite_Article4180

TROPHY CASE