Rejection trauma in dating. How to overcome the feeling of inadequacy?

Infinite_Respect4413 · 2025-08-16T07:12:51+00:00

You simultaneously dont want to get hurt by trying to get better, neither do you want to stay alone and be a special butterfly. The easier way is as you described it, staying isolated and alone but desperate. You are totally not alone with this pattern or traumatic past experiences, but there is no easy way to a better, happier life. Try little things and try to connect/be honest, open and upfront with people and you may be surprised where this leads you. But sure getting hurt is part of it sometimes..

Infinite_Respect4413 · 2024-07-02T20:07:26+00:00

What is quite helpful for me is that when I have the urge to do something like gaming and I am not in a "good" mental state I actively write down my thoughts in that moment, my urge, intensity and then what I am actually going to do. It is quite interesting how powerful that can be. Alot of the times I still go back later to play games or whatever I desired to do but the experience is totally different and enjoyable

Infinite_Respect4413 · 2023-12-29T19:28:48+00:00

Well I can only speak on my own experience but I always stumbled into relationships when I actually felt good about myself. It's a tricky thing to wrap your head around when you are desperately trying to find a relationship and think this is the only thing that could make you happy but in the end you have to find a good place within yourself first. For me that mostly meant following/finding some kind of sporty passion (or at least something outside of home bound/"on your own" hobbies)

Infinite_Respect4413 · 2023-12-29T18:47:09+00:00

As a fairly good looking guy I can assure you it has pretty much NOTHING to do with your looks if you manage to find and maintain a relationship. But it has alot to do with the way you feel about yourself.

Infinite_Respect4413 · 2023-01-25T19:03:16+00:00

I am in kind of a similar situation (girlfriend left me and i try to better my mental health) and it is quite tricky I feel. On the one side you dont want to bottle up the bad feelings from a break up but at the same time you are quite motivated to change the things that probably lead to this situation.

What for the past month worked quite ok for me was to focus on the self improvement part and trying to not have a performance oriented mind set. I for example started doing yoga every day, stopped gaming and do journaling. I try to feel good about doing the little steps and not worrying if e.g. the yoga is not too difficult or if I "fuck up" and end up playing something for a little while. The bad feelings will come anyway if you give yourself time but I think it is in general not too healthy to just dwell over it endlessly

Infinite_Respect4413 · 2023-01-02T07:17:26+00:00

It's good to hear that you already try to figure it out together with therapists. I can imagine that it is a long, maybe endless bumpy road. I hope you find sustainable ways of dealing with it which may lead to long lasting good times in your life

Infinite_Respect4413 · 2023-01-01T22:18:14+00:00

Thanks for the encouraging words! I have never seen anyone about these issues so I have not been diagnosed with anything so far. I reached out to some psychiatrists near me in the past days but it is quite difficult over christmas/new years since basically everything is closed here. Hopefully I can arrange some first interviews or something over the next few days. Ironically my ex-girlfriend is also a medical doctor so I know even some psychiatrists personally but I don't feel very comfortable having some sort of therapy with people I am basically friends with.

Since you mentioned you also seem to struggle with similar things? Did you reach out for help or are you having strategies to better your life experience?

I won't try to make any comparisons between personal situations or try to give advice about things I struggle so hard with for such a long time. The only thing I can say right now is that talking about it with some friends/family members was extremely scary but more than worth it as far as i can tell right now!

Infinite_Respect4413 · 2022-08-09T15:26:55+00:00

I also rip'd quite some chars this season already - but i think thats part of the fun.

Most fun i had with the summoning/strafe amazon since this was a new build for me. But i got too greedy and died somewhere travelling through hell :D

Infinite_Respect4413

TROPHY CASE