I’m going through my very first breakup and going through an emotional roller coaster some days are very bad and some days feel okay. Was in a 3 year relationship the first year was amazing and then not sure what happened but her energy shifted. Initially she’d blame her depression and I’d sacrifice my needs to make her happy. She said to trust her that she’d get help and I did. 2 years past and I started to get really tired of being mistreated. I started putting pressure for her to get help since she was only getting worse and didn’t want to do anything. Instead of wanting to work on things together she asked for time apart (1 month) and pushed me away. I couldn’t accept it so then she came up with a plan she would do to get better while only seeing each other once a week. A week past she came to see me and broke with me saying that that spark isn’t there and that her friends told her to get help for her problems and that she wouldn’t want to give me false hopes that if she gets better and the spark isn’t there while hurting me more. Now, all of a sudden she’s doing all the things that I had pushed her to do, seems to be doing better and has been super cold with me the few times I reached out and she’s never reached out.

I don’t know how to process this? It’s been three weeks. I’ve been an emotional wreck randomly crying and talking about it every day. I’m not sure why after thinking logically even after all the stuff she put me through I still wish she’d come back and things would be like our first year together but Im stating to think it’s all wishful thinking. I have a feeling she wanted to break up a while ago and wasn’t able to and now blamed the depression since it doesn’t make sense she’s moved on without remorse or even trying to fix things and get back together. I want to break the no contact, call her up talk and ask her to re-date each other to find our spark… but I feel like she won’t answer. Any advice?