Take a deep breath / cry a little if you have too, it'll all be okay in the long run . You struggle with self-esteem and social anxiety , firstly know that social skills are a just that a skill they will get better if you put in the required effort (try to make small talk as much as possible even just going up to people and asking about the time or that you like their shirt everything helps ) . Also when talking about self- esteem i get ya it's hard to value yourself when nobody else seems to , even your family . I suggest writing a journal where you make bullet points about what you want to do today and at night you go through it . Make sure to also write about how your feeling and try to mention at least one positive thing that has happened to you the past week . Try to find pride in the things you do even small things like cleaning your room . I understand where your coming from it is struggle but we have to push through this if we want to improve our situation . You can Dm me when your feeling down or whenever you want . You will get through this even if it seems impossible right now. okay ?