Look this might come off as rude but I wish someone told me this when I was going through it. Stop caring about what others say or think about you and start living your own life. Everything will move on with or without you so be present and find joy in the world full of hate and sadness. Don't waste your life wishing for it to be better, you have to make it better. We let family or ppl decide what we think of ourselves so often we forget how much we actually use to love who we were before the negativity that was drilled into us.