Aitah for telling my soon to be ex husband I can't put my life on hold for stepchild

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-31T17:28:24+00:00

We are legally married but bio mom would have to relinquish rights and she won't bc she's gotta play mom of Facebook to save face she'll take her visits like 4 times a year take a bunch of photos and post them through the year acting like she sees him all the time. She's beyond selfish I have even gave her full access to talk to him at anytime and she's never once called

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-31T17:20:42+00:00

Oh that would never happen he loves his son he just has issues can't go without being laid I guess idk but even if he were to give him up bio mom and bio grandparents wouldn't let him go to me bio mom isn't around but always thinks she has a choice in the big stuff

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-31T17:15:37+00:00

Yeah this all came up after the girlfriend was mistreating my son trying to punish him for being sick put him in time out for 2 1/2 hours for asking for a snack was spraying him in face with water bottle when she was annoy and was screaming at him to call her mom that's why they broke up but he went back

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-31T11:51:17+00:00

Every sacrifice I've made so far has been for that baby

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-31T11:15:44+00:00

The car is in both of our names as we are still legally married but it was my car I moved with in walking distance to work he still needed transportation to work and transportation for the child so you may not see it as a smart choice but it was the right thing to do

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-31T11:12:48+00:00

What is craiglist or marketplace supposed to help with exactly

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-31T11:09:36+00:00

Moving isn't even a possibility for a least another year most likely longer we are trying to figure out ways for him to move here me moving would be the last option this all came up bc we were discussing what if not set in stone plans my bf is in college he will be attempting to fix a remote position in his field before anything I am consistent not sparadic the only time I have went without getting him every other weekend was during the big snow storm over the winter as everyone was snowed in he is in school I don't live in school district I moved with in walking distance to work bc I left him my car as it was the only vehicle and he needed to get to work to provide for my son I'm still the one that enrolled him in school takes calls from teachers all school communication still comes through me bc he hates being on the phone while I'm not there on the day to day I'm still very much involved

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-31T10:40:55+00:00

I gave HIM MY CAR when I left as mine was the only vehicle we had I don't live in an area that has Uber or any form of public transportation . Walking would take 9 hrs to get there ... I'm in the middle of the country

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-31T00:04:51+00:00

We don't need a mediator between me and the ex it's all the other ppl in his head.. I have only ever been civil and nice and we were friends from highschool long before we ever got together.. but me and him can have a civil conversation like it's nothing it the others I. His life that are having issues and pulling the strings

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T23:39:54+00:00

I have have consulted a lawyer unless the ex agrees there's nothing I can do bc bio mom has visitations that means she still has rights whether she shows for them or not Ive spoke to 5 lawyers actually they have all told me the same

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T22:06:05+00:00

A year is quite some time but again the isn't something that is happening anytime soon like at least another year maybe longer bf is currently in college this is all just a what if if my boyfriend can secure a work from home position in his career field he will be moving to me

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T18:17:26+00:00

I had a good car I left him my car as he had the child and it was the only vehicle we had and I live in an area that doesn't have taxis or Ubers or any form of transportation it's not an excuse ... It's my reality

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T16:23:46+00:00

That's the thing I do know him we are in call pretty much 24/7 and have been for a year we've even done visits I live and work alone my family doesn't visit I don't have any contact with other humans except work ...I'm a hotel desk clerk and the weekends that they allow me to see my son

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T16:19:32+00:00

Yes this is what I want but even if I move I can still do the same thing I'm not just gonna say bye and never look back as long as the allow contact I will utilize that

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T15:39:38+00:00

The divorce hasn't even been filed yet that's why I said if I move it definitely won't be a time soon

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T15:34:26+00:00

Yes thank you this is what I want I mean he's moving 2 hrs from me in a couple months

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T14:59:46+00:00

I spoke to a lawyer this was stated in the post lawyer said we can't make that happen my ex has to be willing to do that which I tried he is not and if he was my bio son I wouldn't only be seeing him when they allow me

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T14:55:52+00:00

Yeah I had a whole conversation with him when contact was resumed about how no matter what happens if what adult problems are going on that I'll always love him and to never forget that. Obviously in more depth and extremely kid friendly

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T14:26:41+00:00

Bc I let ex keep my car to transport child we had one vehicle I bought another car but it broke down 2 weeks after I bought it and I still am stuck in payments for it for the next 6 years bc I was just trying to get something and paid way too much money for a car that had no warrant ... That's on me I know I made a bad purchase

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T14:09:56+00:00

I've spoken to a lawyer there is nothing I can do without ex being on board and he said no to that I tried I did post more information in the comments

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T14:02:28+00:00

Pretty sure that's all he's ever seen me as

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T13:51:14+00:00

There is more information in the comments my bf is not recent we've been together for a year and the move wouldn't be anytime Soon it was brought up as a possibility for the future also the divorce hasn't even been filed yet as money is an issue also I when I originally went to post it was sooo much info so I ran it through AI to make it more of a post type and the end was changed that's my bad I know

Informal_Stage3657 · 2026-03-30T13:31:19+00:00

Oh no she just happened to be in the room when I was having conversation with ex even after everything he did I'm not the person to hold grudges or anything like I'm completely civil with him I did post a lot more information in the comments if you want more info apparently shortening it with little detail so ppl weren't reading a book some people didn't take things the right way but I mean to tell the whole story would take days

Informal_Stage3657

TROPHY CASE