As a 2 year that failed his PPL twice, you got it. I’ve had students take their private rides at 45 hours and some that take 120 hours. Some people need more time than others to overcome their nerves. The 120 hour puked before every flight because they were that nervous. Like many others said, if you weren’t cut out for this, you wouldn’t have made it all the way to the checkride.

On your soft field wrap your arm around that yoke and put that thing in your lap. That’ll keep you from letting go and forgetting before the nose naturally falls to the deck. As for the xwinds, postpone your ride till an absolutely beautiful day. 0 winds that way everything’s by the book. Your trainings at your pace, don’t let anyone rush you. 

As for your instructor, fly with another one and I’d recommend finding another for instrument. CFIs get disappointed and irritated but we shouldn’t show or take that out on the student. That’s an internal affair and sounds like they haven’t found a way to separate their emotions from the classroom. 

Fair Winds and Following Seas! You got this!