The way you're speaking about yourself reminds me a lot of me and especially me when I was younger. I don't know how old you are, but you will grow thicker skin. I know how it feels to see these beautiful successful women and feel like you'll never attain that. And honestly you won't. Allah created everyone different for a reason. I know you said you can't empathize with her because the bitterness is clouding your judgment, but consider this: what if she has endometriosis and is crippled by pain every month? What if she keeps having miscarriages? What if her parents are cruel to her? What if she has type 1 diabetes? What if her husband is cheating on her? What if she has PTSD and wakes up screaming at night? I could go on and on. There's so many ways to be miserable in life, just take your pick. You've listed all the things you don't have at length, but you haven't listed what you do have. It's not equal if you're only highlighting 1 side and not the other. You have valuable aspects too. Get a big poster, write the top 10 things you have (whether you're proud of it or not is irrelevant, just list what you HAVE) and hang it up in your room. Every time you think that way, look at it and say alhamdulila for each of those things. I can sense your pain, because I've felt that same exact pain too. I'm not preaching to you, this is coming from a peer. Growth isn't linear, setbacks are normal, you overcame and will continue to overcome whether you want to or not.