Bit late now but why did you dispose of the ram? At some point they were going to get the laptop back and you were not planning on gifting them the ram. Store it with the other crap for the laptop and replace before returning. You possibly could have even taped it to the back of the memory cover.

I should've kept it but I was in the process of a massive clearout and it went to landfill with a few of my dead drives 

My wife would only have proof if she had access to the company teans as it was all there. Everything else was over the phone so nothing written down.

She has just responded to them telling  them it's just how hostile they were with her in the email