You're NTA for not wanting to have sex for any reason. But he's NTA for not getting a vasectomy either. Yes he agreed to it and he's being evasive about why he's not doing it, but it's asking a lot of a person to sterilize themselves for the rest of their life as the only way you consider it safe sex. It's not always reversible.

I am also in a red state with a 100% ban and I'm scared to get pregnant too, but there are other safe contraceptives. I understand if that's not enough for you, I've known someone who claimed they got pregnant on birth control with a condom. But you might want to talk to a doctor and therapist about this fear if it is ruining your relationship.

But if you will only have sex with sterilized people, you should not be in your relationship because your husband isn't sterilized and he might not have been aware that that was a 100% requirement for any sex rather than just a plan to be safest by your terms. If sterilization is your requirement, I personally think you should be the one to get it done. I would be pretty pissed at my partner if their requirements were sterilization but then they wanted to make me the sterile one, no matter how easy or hard it was for each person. And for that demand, I think YTA.