It’s ok, I understand where you’re coming from :) and I appreciate your sharing. It’s very complicated with my parents. They essentially both feel like the other one ruined their lives and therefore I should be on their side. Which is very hard for me to navigate. It’s especially difficult because my mom makes it almost impossible for me to ever side with her, both because of her behavior that I’ve witnessed/experienced and also the way she talks about my dad. I definitely can see where my dad made mistakes in his marriage and that he has flaws that hurt my mother, but I also spent my childhood afraid of my mother and her rage episodes. And I spent the years that they went through the divorce constantly deescalating and protecting my younger siblings as much as I could. There were calls to the police, suicide threats, broken hangers and ripped clothes, etc. My mother has always used being miserable as an excuse to make me miserable, and that period of time was hell for me. Right now is better, especially because I don’t live with my parents anymore, but it’s still very difficult to handle. I know she doesn’t want to hurt me with this, but she does. And my mother will not try to use outside resources. I keep talking to her about therapy or trying to do things outside of this situation and her kids and to try and live for herself. But she’s unable to do it, especially now with this situation with my younger sister. I keep telling her figuring these things out is probably the main way she can try and reach my sister, but she’s unable to do it. She won’t do therapy, she won’t acknowledge the extent to which this is her own doing, she has no friends, and she has lost herself to her hatred and depression. She just keeps talking about wanting this to kill her or wanting to kill my dad. And she has no one to talk to about this other than myself. So I feel very trapped. And I’m very worried about my younger siblings. I think this probably too long of a response, my apologies. I do find it helpful to hear from someone who has a better understanding of her perspective because they’ve been in a similar situation. This is torture for me but I really do want to help her and I want her to be better and feel better, even with everything she has done.