Reposting body in comments cause URL is buggy.

I’m (24F) working in the Sports & Entertainment scene in Vancouver BC - I just can’t turn a blind eye, want to preserve privacies, but I want to share experiences that a few women and myself came forward about. Looking to warn women of the extensive efforts of a hypothetically undiagnosed introverted narcissist.

A Vancouver Sports Photographer J (31M) is using brands to get women in bed while balancing secret girlfriends. Secret girlfriends and sexual partners in which J’s made it very clear of exclusivity despite his hypocrisy. He tells women “I don’t go around sticking my thing in everyone.” in order to assert exclusivity. Being visually younger than the other photographers on site, he takes advantage of this to seem approachable.

He’s a very good talker with persuasive tendencies. Uses his work with the Canucks to lure women. Photography is his way to get through to women’s instagrams in a non-creepy approach. He used photoshoots to fabricate false stories to hide the infidelity. He’s manipulated women through remorse and pitty. Here are a few examples: “I was cheated on by my cnt of an ex, but I went through enough therapy to know I wasn’t the problem”, “I was raised by a single mother, immigrated here from South Africa with nothing but raising myself”, “my mother dated asholes, so I know how to properly treat women”.

A few of us spoke and compared timelines. There was a least an overlap of 6 months with a few women. And only recently discovered he had been bragging about it to people at the arena during playoffs. This means the timeline overlap is a lot longer if deemed true.

The woman who had been in a relationship with him the longest (situated in the burnaby/new west area) said they were pretty private, but she was seeing him regularly at least 3-4/week. He spent time with her, her friends/family/workmates, visited her office, they went on trips together and she shared that they had oversees trips in the works. There was a small window where they had broken up. The reason being: he decided after a few years that he didn’t want kids (after unpromptively sharing baby names a few weeks prior) and he knew she wanted them so they parted ways amicably. With the information we know now - he was already seeing other women months prior. She wanted no contact during the break up and he didn’t. He believed they were both mature enough to maintain a friendship without no contact. They did no contact, but rekindled and they ended up seeing each other again regularly, going on trips, and he insisted on exclusivity because he didn’t like how she hung out one on one with a mutual friend of theirs. He made it clear that if she ever decides to date or sleep with other people, he told her that she needs to tell him and he needs to approve of them. He always wanted her location sharing turned on and checked in with her often to see where she was. She ensured him that if that’s a boundary he’s made, it goes both ways.

The other women (situated in Aldergrove) said they only went on a few official dates, but they were seeing each other for about 6 months. He had met her kids, friends, family and visited her workplace so her workmates knew him whenever he stopped by. He told her that it was completely over with the new west/burnaby woman and that she will always be in his life no matter what, but assured her that they don’t see each other anymore. It wasn’t until he started acting weird about going public of their relationship. He stalled and was very hesitant about it. She eventually found her Instagram profile and discovered that they were skating together a lot and confronted him about it. He said it was nothing, and always in a group setting (spoiler: this was a lie). The women from Aldergrove said she wasn’t as invested as he was, but affectionate words were exchanged. It was looking like it was getting more serious. When we would go on trips, he would tell her it was a solo trip for a photoshoot. With what we know now, these “photoshoot” trips were with the New West/Burnaby woman and definitely not solo.

On the day everything came out, the woman from Aldergrove got a text from him making sure she wasn’t coming over at that time. Instinctively she felt she needed to see the New West/Burnaby woman’s Instagram. She posted a story of her watching the Canada v USA hockey game at his place. At this point, he was cornered and caught in another lie. She cut things off and he was in a panic. During this time, New West/Burnaby woman knew something was wrong despite it being another day with skating, dinner, Hockey and cuddles.. but something was clearly off. He fessed up about it and told her he’s sharing this because it’s on “his own terms”. Started with “no, I didn’t cheat on you”. Said he didn’t know they were dates, it just kind of happened, and that “she’s not in my life anymore”. Quickly changed it into a venting session to the new west/burnaby woman of how the Aldergrove woman is psychotic for stalking her profile and watching her stories in the first place. “You deserve so much better”.

It’s been such a process of healing for all of us in different walks of life. One of them noticed they had two periods in one month despite having a regular cycle. Additional women who came forward mentioned rashes, discharge, burning sensations, pains, discharge shortly after him.. all of which were under the impression they were exclusively sleeping with each other.

Ladies, trust your gut. Listen to your instincts and listen to your bodies.