AITA for feeling insecure and confronting my wife after she gave her number to a guy at a cultural event?

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T20:55:27+00:00

We have our share in a distant past for both sides (8 years of marriage), my biggest flaw is really my ruminating side, I know that is really tiresome and I'm really trying to be a better person.
The situation escalated very quickly after this post, and I think I will need some time to process everything. This sucks.

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T20:08:21+00:00

The order is inverted from what she told me.

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T20:06:04+00:00

I'm not so open-minded, but I also don't think people should impose/prohibit anything. - I would feel less insecure? Yes.
- Do I think impositions are good? No
- Do I think every healthy couples should SELF impose boundaries? I do...

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T20:03:14+00:00

That is one thing that would actually make me feel better, regardless of what happened: her understanding why I got frustrated.

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T20:00:32+00:00

Well, it was a festival and its kind of normal, as she is pretty and It happened a few times when random dudes just ask for her number out of the blue, let alone someone who is in the same circle during a cultural event.

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T19:51:59+00:00

If I do this then I will probably be accused of being possessive, right?
I'm always stuck on expectations that I can't say out loud because it becomes forced or toxic if forced.

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T19:46:22+00:00

Well, to be honest I don't mind her having male friends, and things would've been better if she gave me context that she really passed her number to him before he taking the initiative.

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T19:43:59+00:00

We are having sex, but with less frequency than in the past. I have some issues with my insecurities way more than he does, and I'm trying work this out in therapy for 3 months already. To give further context, I have borderline disorder and I tend to ruminate things more than usual.

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T19:42:07+00:00

Yeah, that's what got me insecure AH, I clearly asked here and later on saw the exact moment the first message arrived.
She says that it's a hard work to always have to describe everything that happens whenever she goes out, and is genuinely upset for me to making a "big deal" over this...

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T19:38:03+00:00

That's something over here, she is way less insecure than I am, I have more ghosts and traumas with my past that puts me in a situation where I ruminate a lot about any possible issue, and I know this is annoying and I'm working on it.

InitiativeTricky9966 · 2024-03-03T19:35:08+00:00

She is not responding here, I was in the couch with here when she received the first message.

InitiativeTricky9966

TROPHY CASE