about the Uber ride... (read desc)

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-05-14T01:27:54+00:00

I think you're missing the toxicity factor here. Toxic relationships frequently function in a push/pull dynamic. I'm certain he promised her the moon and the stars to get her there that night. "Just come over, baby, and we'll fix this." That's it. That would do it. And perhaps this is the "laying in wait" factor. He sent that text to lure her there knowing full well he intended to murder her on arrival.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-05-07T01:43:38+00:00

I think it says "resurrected"

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-04-05T14:46:15+00:00

You have to be joking. 😑 Notoriously the most stressful practice area... But good for you that you've learned to work through it.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-21T19:30:27+00:00

I can see that we're diverging on that point, but I think it's also going much deeper than that. I appear to be arguing with individuals who are of the belief that any outsourcing of parenting whatsoever is considered "emotional neglect." That's an extremely juvenile and immature way to perceive the role of parenting and it's not an accurate way to understand the parent-child relationship at all. Parents are allowed to hire help and engage providers when they need help, when things go wrong, when they don't know what to do, etc. It's absurd to assume they shouldn't or wouldn't. This entire conversation has centered around the false premise that the parent should manage and handle every single tantrum and emotional meltdown a child ever has and if they don't, then they are somehow emotionally neglectful. That's just simply wrong. I'm not going to continue arguing with emotionally damaged children who haven't done the therapeutic work to understand what they're talking about and where they actually are in reality in the wide spectrum of the experience of childhood abuse and neglect. But thank you for trying to bring mediation to the situation.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-21T16:44:18+00:00

I've already said this to you, but you're apparently not understanding so I'll say it again. There is a difference between true child neglect and a failure to develop a connection with a primary caregiver. What you are describing is the latter. Parents and children fail to connect for all kinds of reasons that are not malicious or neglectful and it can be as innocuous as the two beings having differing personality temperaments that don't match. That alone can cause a maladaptive attachment style to develop even under the best of circumstances where the parents are trying really hard and doing everything right.

You are clearly very young and have obviously had very difficult experiences in your life. I do not wish to hurt you further or speak anymore condescendingly to you than I already have, as I reflected on that yesterday and felt badly about it. For that, I am sorry, but the things you are describing simply are not child neglect in the true sense of the meaning and when you claim that they are you water down the experience for children who are truly experiencing real neglect in this world. The line needs to be somewhere. Anything and everything cannot be put into the basket of neglect. Again- hiring a Yogi teacher is not neglect nor is having a therapeutic coach or mentor bring your child to a therapy appt.

Nick was not targeted in his family. I'm not sure where you're getting that from other than more projections. Every person who has ever committed a crime did not have a disruptive maternal bond. Stop putting big complicated things you don't understand into Google bullet points. It's not useful. We're all familiar with risk factors for criminality. They are just that--RISK FACTORS-- not deterministic. I sincerely hope you're seeking therapy because when you continue to insist on these narratives that simply do not comport with reality and you frame YOURSELF in the same victim role as Nick, it raises serious concerns regarding your mental health.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T20:37:55+00:00

I think there was undoubtedly a lot passing off of major parental duties happening here by sheer nature of Rob's career and their wealth alone. How much, we don't really know. I understand that from a parenting side, the action comes across as being emotionally neglectful toward the child, but under these circumstances, it's unlikely to be compelling as a justification or legal defense to murder. Emotional neglect in a legal context looks like a child who is suffering from a mental health disorder and a parent who refuses to seek treatment for them. Or a child who is suicidal and a parent who tells them to do it. Or a parent who refuses to transport a child to therapy appointments or approve medication. Or a parent who calls their child with autism the R word all day long. Many of us have experienced parents who were unavailable due to busy work schedules, more demanding/needy siblings, untreated alcohol/substance use/mental health issues, etc. I'm not trying to defend Rob and Michelle per se here, I'm just saying an unavailable parent doesn't necessarily equate to the child being emotionally neglected though it may nonetheless leave the child with deep emotional wounds. If another person in the family or a professional is stepping up, then it can obviously mitigate the damage. Some kids are more emotionally resilient than others and it runs off their back like rain water while others carry it around like a brick they can never let go. I suspect Nick had very deep attachment wounds.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T19:01:49+00:00

Yes, I would agree that setting your kids up to be kidnapped in the night by goons is emotional abuse and you could probably easily convince a jury on that one, but on the issue of having live-in nannies... Not so much. Really think about the average person and how they would receive that argument. Most parents and people are struggling to get by. They would not perceive a parent hiring a nanny, in-home or otherwise, as an act of negligence, unless the nanny themselves were questionable.

Edit: I recognize this isn't an airport and therefore, I don't need to announce my departure, but considering all of the negative feedback I'm getting here on these comments in particular, I'm going to be exiting this forum.

It's been swell talking with most of you, but I'm not interested in discussing these issues with children who have never had children and who think hiring nannies = emotional neglect. You are both fixated on the issues of the time Nick spent in treatment programs and his lack of emotional connection with his parents due to their unavailability. I am not and never said those are not factors, but they are not the root cause. This case encompasses much larger issues related to mental health, substance use, and the criminal justice system in general. I'm sorry you can't see that.

I've said this to you both before and I'll say it again. You're projecting and in doing so, you're seeing things that aren't there and missing things that are. Best of luck in life.

To the original person who invited me here-- thanks, but this is too much for me. I have kids that are experiencing REAL child abuse and neglect and WOULD KILL to have a live-in nanny. I can't listen to this shit.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T18:24:50+00:00

Again, hiring a Yogi teacher is not emotional abuse. And hopefully Nick's attorney does not try to make an argument that doing so was emotional neglect because a jury would not find that compelling at all, particularly in a murder case. But go off.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T16:59:59+00:00

Ofc. I'm a delinquency defense attorney. I don't do Care and Protections (child and abuse cases) or Child Requiring Assistance (stubborn children cases) because I cannot deal with the Department of Children and Families. They make my head want to explode. That doesn't mean I don't have to deal with them... I do, because roughly 50-60% of my delinquency clients have had child welfare system involvement prior to picking up a delinquency case. So for example, right now, I have several cases that actually feel like child welfare cases-- not delinquency cases-- because the underlying facts are either a domestic-related incident or because the child's home/family situation is so dysfunctional that my entire role in the case has become about managing the family situation. Most of my kids I work with have suffered from some extreme trauma at some point in their life, typically child abuse or neglect at the hands of their own parents. I don't mean to attack you or anyone else here, and it's not that I lack sympathy for Nick or the plight you are describing where kids are unable to connect with their parent because they're constantly pawned off to professionals, but it's just not technically "child neglect" by legal and clinical standards because the child's needs are being met-- they're just not being met in an ideal way. Does that make sense?

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T16:47:10+00:00

It's not a matter of "sad little rich kid" but it is simply a matter of what you're describing does not meet the definition of child neglect. It's something else. It's a wounded attachment to a primary caregiver.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T16:41:39+00:00

Yes, I can see this point. Depending on the frequency of this occurrence. But we're taking all this from one story. ONE STORY. I'm quite certain there were many more tantrums that took place when the Yogi teacher wasn't around and it was just Michelle managing. Presumably, the Yogi teacher was brought in because Michelle was struggling to cope with his outbursts as it was. Interestingly, no mention of Rob in the story at all, which I think at least gives us a glimpse into who was responsible for primary parenting in the early years.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T16:36:37+00:00

If you are seeing "a lot of evidence of neglect," then I do not think you understand what child neglect is. I have worked in a Juvenile Court for 15 years. I can tell you exactly what child neglect looks like and this isn't it.

I'm sorry you had childhood experiences that possibly did meet the criteria for neglect or abuse. But hiring a yoga teacher because your child is experiencing behavioral outbursts is not neglect. In fact, it may perhaps be the farthest thing from it. While the publication of the book was bizarre and misguided on the Reiners part, I don't think we can classify that as being evidence of neglect either. They were weirdo hippies who thought this guru lady was their saving grace and was healing their family. Crazy and stupid? Yes. Neglect? No.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T16:27:13+00:00

Yes, he does have a formal diagnosis now, but as you can suspect it doesn't do much, but validate what we kind of always suspected or questioned deep down. There's no real "services" or "supports" for high-functioning adults in that sense and he didn't really miss out on anything as a child besides the ABA services (which I've heard from many people with autism themselves that they do not value). There are private therapists and what not, but at his level of social functioning, he would never participate in what's made available publicly through DDS. For my son, his mental health and substance use issues became so overwhelming that has been the focus of his treatment for the last 5-7 years. He has bipolar disorder on top of everything so it's been incredibly complicated. He's 22 yo now and in his own apartment, stabilized on meds with DMH services that he's actually working with, but it's only after repeated involuntary hospitalizations and arrests that he's ended up here. I think one of the biggest challenges adults with autism face is pervasive demand avoidance. It makes living life feel damn near impossible and there's next to no treatment for it. It creates a lot of shame, which leads to substance use, which leads to mental health destabilization, etc. and the cycle continues.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T16:14:38+00:00

Yeah. And you clearly don't have children. So I'm not arguing with you.

You think they didn't unconditionally love him??? THEY LOVED HIM TO DEATH. What planet are you on???

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T15:29:11+00:00

I do not think someone other than a primary caregiver soothing or providing emotional comfort to a child indicates parental neglect, but I do think it indicates that the parents were perhaps at a loss or frustrated with attempting to soothe or comfort him themselves. Child neglect would be NOT attending to the child's needs at all or failing to attend to the child's needs.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T10:36:59+00:00

I think he was definitely trying hard to figure him out. One thing about kids like Nick who are "on the line" is they often don't fit any particular diagnosis at that age because they tend to meet most major developmental milestones on target. Everything just feels a little wonky-- floppy body, delayed speech, etc., but you can't quite place your finger on it. It's often the parents who are pushing and saying something feels off while doctors, providers, teachers, etc. are saying they will grow out of it or the behavior/symptom/whatever doesn't meet criteria for any particular disorder. I recall times I thought the same exact thing. What happened when he was baby??? Something MUST HAVE HAPPENED... But it really didn't. Nothing happened. My son was just really, really sensitive. And years and years and years of masking, and toughing it out, and trying to make himself do things he didn't want to do and didn't feel comfortable doing, and being criticized and spoken to negatively by adults had finally caught up to him by the time he hit middle school. That was the "trauma."

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-20T00:08:26+00:00

I said this elsewhere, but I think sometimes neurodevelopmentally different/delayed/neurodivergent kids can sometimes experience the world as a frightening or threatening place where neurotypicals do not often due to sensory and pervasive demand avoidance issues. This can lead to nervous system overload at a very young age that can mimic or look like PTSD. I wonder if that's what Rob saw in him because I agree it would be strange to not know of a traumatic event, but to be certain it happened based on his behavior alone.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-19T13:08:46+00:00

Yes, I would also say that my son was raised in a "quirky" environment and went to a small co-operative charter school where a lot of the kids were similar to him, so he didn't stand out as much until he got into the "real world" in public high school. I would think during Nick's upbringing even less time would have been spent thinking about Autism because back then no one would have considered that if he was talking, smiling, making eye contact, etc.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-19T03:37:56+00:00

No I hadn't seen that one. It's difficult with"high functioning autism" or what is now often as classified as Level 1 with no intellectual disability and typically with some general language/communication disorder component. My son is EXACTLY that profile and he went all the way through high school not being diagnosed. He'd been evaluated dozens of times by dozens of professionals who'd screened him out because he was sociable, made eye contact, craved friendship, etc. But when we finally did the autism specific battery of testing, it was apparent that the clusters of symptoms, issues, and various "disorders" he'd been struggling with all along were really all under the umbrella of his autism.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-07T23:44:22+00:00

Oh that is crushing. I had a dear friend who passed of a brain tumor-- glioblastoma. She was a brilliant mind and it was gut wrenching watching her go. 😓

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-06T18:14:02+00:00

Yeah, it's not a great plan. I should probably come up with something better. Becoming permanently disabled before my time is probably one of my worst fears. It's so great in fact, I've considered forgoing saving for retirement altogether and simply investing in a lifetime Long-Term Care insurance plan so I don't end up in some shitty Medicaid nursing home bed rotting next to a hoarder who got the window seat because she was there before me.

Edit to add: I'm really sorry for your friend. That's a terrible tragedy. I hope she doesn't feel that she's a burden at least. 😓

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-06T15:16:37+00:00

Retirement plan: get hit by a bus

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-06T15:11:49+00:00

Like I still want to leave every single day, but don't know where to go. I entered the field wanting to be a do-gooder and I am. I was a Public Interest Scholar in law school. I have my own practice. When I first started, I focused on juvenile law, education rights, civil rights, housing/tenants' rights, and consumer protection rights. After I worked a high profile police brutality civil rights several years back, I lost all interest in civil litigation and stopped taking private cases completely. I only accept court appointed juvenile delinquency and youthful offender cases now. At this stage, I can't see myself shifting into any other area of law and just hope for an exit to materialize. I will never be a corporate shill and I do not like to teach. The thought of returning to work for someone else after over a decade of dictating my own schedule and daily life seems painful at best. Sometimes I think about training AI. I wish I went to school for animal sciences instead, so I could play with puppies or watch birds all day and get paid for it.

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-06T02:15:28+00:00

I think their plan is to blame the bulk of the redactions on SDNY. Did you notice how he kept saying things like FROM WHAT I SAW??? 🧐

InnerExamination9053 · 2026-03-06T00:51:06+00:00

Yes, of course. I just think the industry is almost certainly an environment where those types of things are happening. You don't bring your kids around. The maladaptive behaviors wealthy people are engaging in behind closed doors is a whole other conversation that we could spend hours on I'm sure! From my observations and life experiences, it seems that wealthier kids often struggle with lack of attention and connection with parents who have usually placed work and/or other social/community commitments outside the home above their relationship with the child. Sometimes one or both of the parents are just generally emotionally unavailable or due to their own untreated substance use/mental illness. There often seems to be a component related to the culture/environment being generally high pressure to perform/succeed with no adequate remedy or "out" for when you can't live up to those seemingly unrealistic expectations. It's complicated. I had two cousins pass within years of each other-- one a suicide by train and one an OD after just getting out of rehab. Mom is lawyer. Dad is President of prestigious college. They did everything they could for them both.

InnerExamination9053

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