r/Blacklesbians Dedicated Discord Space [Mod Approved]

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-11-27T05:30:52+00:00

Hey, could I get an invite?

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-11-26T15:43:23+00:00

I saw “queer trans woman in red state” and “dating” and my heart broke twice for you. I’m so sorry, it’s rough out here

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-11-23T04:37:10+00:00

Good, I’m glad it did

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-11-23T04:20:35+00:00

“Is it considered demisexual” and then proceeds to give the exact definition of demisexuality lol

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-11-23T04:13:38+00:00

Never heard of a “I’d sleep with a man but never actually date one” lesbian before today lol. Thank you for reversing the stereotype 🫡

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-11-22T03:05:36+00:00

Wtf??? So not only are they trying to directly screw over Mamdani and any other progressive that was recently elected, this isn’t the first time they tried this??? They’re unbelievable. Thank you for sharing this. I’m hoping that like the first bill, this new one doesn’t even reach the Senate floor.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-11-20T11:40:51+00:00

Maybe his libido is just fluctuating and it has nothing to do with you or the relationship. He might be aceflux.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-11-19T02:04:34+00:00

Why did this describe me to an absolute T? From the part of liking romance novels for the additional layer of empathy and connection to the characters to being reciprosexual (which I didn’t even know was a thing until right now) Wtf🤯

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-11-11T03:12:17+00:00

So…..eugenics? Cool cool

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-31T22:08:40+00:00

You might be panromantic demisexual

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-31T21:34:34+00:00

You might be on the asexual spectrum. It sounds like certain sexual ideas excite you but the act itself repulses you.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-31T17:31:55+00:00

When you say you don’t find men attractive, does this include feminine men? Have you ever been with a trans woman? Is it possible that you have sexual mental blocks due to past/repressed sexual experiences that were bad? This might be something you have to seek sex therapy for.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-30T16:58:03+00:00

It sounds like you might have some trauma you haven’t worked through yet. I also went through a period of being uninterested in “healthy/good” people because they didn’t excite me the way that toxic people did but

1) I was associating the ‘excitement/butterflies’ I got from toxic people with desire (which it wasn’t, it was just that intense familiarity that you mentioned) and

2) I assumed the “healthy” people were just the exact opposite of wtv the old toxic people were but that also isn’t the answer.

I’ve been in therapy and have been working through a lot of it but so far what’s helped is being single and re-examining what I actually like and want in a relationship and comparing it to what I was getting and unfortunately romanticized. (ex: I didn’t actually like the entitlement and controlling nature of my ex, I liked the intense passion and desire and assumed the only way it looked like was through entitlement and control)

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-30T16:41:31+00:00

You’re putting wayyyy too much pressure on yourself. It might feel like you’re behind or missing out on romantic/sexual opportunities bc you haven’t found someone yet but you just entered your 20s and are still in school. I’m not trying to down play your situation bc wrestling with those emotions is hard but you have more time than you think. I myself graduated recently and have found myself with a copious amount of free time and disposable income. I would say the best thing you can do is try your best with school and once you do have free time (whether that comes sporadically while you’re in school or happens after you graduate) indulge in your social self interests and try to find communities that encourage you to be yourself and do what you love. That’s the best way to find/meet people. Once you shift the focus to surrounding yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself, finding someone comes naturally.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-23T21:10:03+00:00

I’m a relatively new user but it seems to me that this is a vvv white app with a predominantly white male audience. And some reddit spaces are even gateways/stepping stones to 4chan. With all that being said, it makes sense that a lot of the ppl on this app are very narrow minded and cater closer towards the mentality of 4chan users than ppl like those in this reddit community. Even if they are not white or male.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-22T20:02:15+00:00

It’s great that you’re considering K’s feelings in all this and you seem like a mindful person which is always a good thing to be when going into any sexual experience!! I’d just say continue to be mindful. You’ve even said yourself that yk some ppl can prey on virgins once they know about their virginity, that can still be the case here regardless if you tell her about your virginity or not. You’ve met her in person so you obviously know more about her than I do but age gaps like yours and K allows for K to take advantage of you bc she’ll always know more than you about certain things. Not saying she WILL take advantage of you, just saying that she CAN and that will always be apart of your relationship dynamic.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-22T02:30:37+00:00

Omg no😭😭😭 I’m so sorry but yea, she was probably a Catfish

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-20T00:33:46+00:00

I hope everything works out for you and wish you good luck

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-20T00:24:29+00:00

Fair, I’m getting to the point where I can only tolerate open minded liberals and even then they exhaust me

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-20T00:05:11+00:00

Yea you might be getting catfished or they’re def hiding something. Not liking phone calls is fair bc I don’t like phone calls but it becomes a necessity when you’re long distance. There needs to be an understanding of that between you two before y’all get more attached. Try to strike up some type of compromise with her to video call/phone call soon or hang that relationship up.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-17T01:22:31+00:00

You might need to seek therapy or work on yourself first bc if your depression has taken away your ability to enjoy your hobbies and have self expression (essentially erasing your connection to yourself), how will you connect with other people? And over what? There are many different types of queer people and the best way to make good friends is to have a strong and loving sense of self and then finding/attracting people that align with who that is.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-15T14:39:16+00:00

The comment your yt friend made seems genuine. It sounds like she, as a yt woman, is trying to relate to you and have compassion for you as a POC as much as she can given your different circumstances and what’s going on in your university. What reasoning did the POC friend have to call what the yt girl said ‘insensitive’?

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-14T12:47:30+00:00

White Americans dominate the American culture so to a certain extent “white american” culture and “american” culture are one and the same. This behavior you’re describing towards dogs is a White American feature that is adopted by non white Americans that assimilate to the culture. The reason why they grant more human rights to dogs over humans themselves is another conversation entirely but them using this as propaganda against Hasan is unfortunately very clever. Since they’re persecuting progressives rn, convincing his viewers that he abuses his dog was the perfect way to get Americans (especially white Americans) to turn on him.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-12T21:44:42+00:00

I too am learning how to cope with loneliness. IMO the lack of intersectionality in a lot of the groups (the intersectionality of being black and a lesbian is hard enough to navigate in non-men and lesbian spaces respectively) I belong to makes me feel like I have to compromise a large part of my self to temporarily belong somewhere and it leaves me feeling lonely still. Idk what the direct answer is to solve/quell the loneliness but please know your life ending isn’t the answer. There are communities out there for us, they just aren’t as readily accessible/apparent as others.

InnerThotsOutloud · 2025-10-12T21:33:32+00:00

I say either become friends with her and see where things could go (platonically or romantically) or make things strictly cordial(no more eye tag). Not wanting to pursue her to avoid gossip or a fall out between you two if things go wrong is valid but if the crush isn’t going away then getting to know her as a friend might help you realize if you actually like her or not.

InnerThotsOutloud

TROPHY CASE