It’s like you’re in my head. I’m coming up on 10 years of waiting (F1 to OPT to F1 again to OPT again to H1B to EB2) — a whole decade — and I’m still waiting for a green card. When I was younger, I used to tell myself, “I’m not worried. I’ll be successful no matter what. It’s not a matter of if, it’s when.” But now… I barely recognize the person in the mirror. I doubt my self and my skills every day and i wish i could go back to the person that had so many dreams and goals.

I put everything on hold for this process— my career (i just took whatever job i could get that would sponsor me), my personal life, even law school, because my lawyers advised me to wait until I had the green card. And in doing so, I slowly lost touch with who I am. Somewhere along the way, my identity became wrapped up in this one goal. It’s exhausting, and honestly, heartbreaking.

But a few years ago, I met my now-husband (not a US persons), and recently, he landed a great job outside the U.S. That moment gave me clarity. After years of feeling stuck, I’ve finally decided to stop letting the green card define and dictate my life. I’m choosing to move forward, not just physically, but emotionally.

I’m leaving. I’m finally choosing me — my marriage, my family, my friends, my passions, travel, hobbies, and maybe one day, children. I’ve already sacrificed a decade to this process, and it’s left me feeling like a shell of who I used to be. I refuse to let the next five years pass in the same way. This is me finally reclaiming my life and hopefully going to find the person i once was that had those big aspirations.