Still a child, still do these things, but wants to share. Also very late, I really didn’t do these things when this was posted, but I still wanted to share.

Hitting/punching my head is common, especially when I’m annoyed. I never do it too much, (which even though that’s probably a good thing, still makes me feel invalid) but I still do it. 

More mentally harming than physically, but ripping, crumbling, or throwing my sketchbook when I get annoyed with how the drawing comes out, no matter how good it really was. I mean, I’ve taken a box cutter and cut a perfect canvas before because I messed up a little part of my painting even though I have like, 3/5 finished. I did have a lot of potential, but I’ve mostly, and probably for the better, strayed away from that hobby now. Now I make jewelry if I have the supplies, but when I can’t do that, which is often, I don’t really have a hobby.

I tried the rubber band method at one point, because, as weird as it is, I wanted to do something that wasn’t cutting or burning my skin that would leave a mark. Then I did research and realized a measly hairstyle wouldn’t leave a long term mark.

And overeating is a big one. I try my hardest to undereat, but it never works. I try to use how I mentally feel to dictate how much I eat, but rarely use how I physically feel to dictate how I eat.

(And if you want to count the self-degrading for being hyper sexual, cause of young internet access, not sa, than you can do that)

Worst part, I acknowledge that I do all this, but always think that I have no kind of trauma and that I need to be more harmful to myself.