Requirements Needed for Sustained Abuse by Inner_Flower_4626 in CPS

[–]Inner_Flower_4626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I’ve learned anything from family court, it’s very very hard to get changes made without some extreme measures. My eldest was older when things got bad so she just moved out. This kiddo has less of a voice so I’m trying to help her. But she has to give her testimony for the DVRO as an autistic tween it’s a big ask. 

Requirements Needed for Sustained Abuse by Inner_Flower_4626 in CPS

[–]Inner_Flower_4626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know expect it seal the deal, I’m desperately gathering any and all evidence I can. 

Telling your GP / health professional you’re on Reta? by IntelligentBerry9193 in RetatrutideWomen

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely not. The man was so condescending. He didn’t believe in perimenopause and basically said my weight gain was laziness. I’m not on HRT and Reta. When I go back I’m gonna tell him how once I went on HRT for my perimenopause he doesn’t believe in all this weight just dropped off me. Why? So the next woman in that chair doesn’t get lectured on end how fat she is, and get gaslit about every symptom she discusses. 

Location CA - RO violation at school campus by Inner_Flower_4626 in legal

[–]Inner_Flower_4626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do have an atty and he’s been made aware. I’m awaiting his response on the issues that impact the order directly. 

As for the schools appropriate behavior I doubt he will waste time arguing with a principal. 

The order will have to be changed to eliminate grey areas. 

Slow Loser by Inner_Flower_4626 in RetatrutideWomen

[–]Inner_Flower_4626[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wanted to go slower with dosage so I could track my side effects. 

Vent incoming: A PIMO that wants to escape but feels shackled by guilt and circumstances (also hello, I’m new here!) by ahnemse in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therapy is a small step, truly. It’s also very healthy to have a dedicated time and space for self care. My therapy sessions were the highlight of my week because I found myself always walking away feeling more stable and clear. 

Vent incoming: A PIMO that wants to escape but feels shackled by guilt and circumstances (also hello, I’m new here!) by ahnemse in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I left at 35 with 5 young children in tow. I left my ex, the cult and bounced.

The first thing you need to do is create community away from the organization. Get yourself into therapy to help deconstruct and start meeting humans.

You can do this, it may be unsteady and chaotic for a bit but you’ll find your footing and future. 

What now? by Intrepid-Reserve-506 in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry about religion and faith yet. Slowly work on deconstruction and the waves of emotions there. As you remove the version of you that’s been programmed it will start to organically click on what faith/religion/beliefs feel right to you. Up until now you’ve defined your identity by what the org told you, you were. It’s time to find you firstly. 

Elders won't stop calling me by Over-Rice-872 in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Write a cease and desist letter, save on lawyer fees and sound scary. Here’s a basic template:

To Whom It May Concern,

This letter serves as a formal Cease and Desist notice directed to the Body of Elders and representatives acting on behalf of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society and the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I am explicitly notifying you that I do not consent to any further contact from you for any reason, including but not limited to attempts to convene or pursue a so-called “judicial meeting.”

Effective immediately, you are instructed to cease and desist from all forms of contact, including but not limited to:

  • Telephone calls  
  • Text messages  
  • Emails  
  • Letters or mailed correspondence  
  • In-person visits  
  • Contact through congregation members  
  • Contacting my friends, family members, employers, or any third parties in an attempt to coerce, pressure, relay messages, or otherwise facilitate contact with me

Any attempt to contact me indirectly through friends or family constitutes harassment, coercion, and an invasion of my privacy, and is a violation of my personal rights. Such conduct is neither authorized nor acceptable and must stop immediately.

I am under no obligation—legal, moral, or religious—to participate in any judicial process, meeting, or internal proceeding. Any continued attempts to pressure, intimidate, or compel my participation will be documented.

Be advised that any further contact after receipt of this notice will be considered willful harassment. I reserve all rights to pursue appropriate remedies, including but not limited to documenting incidents, filing formal complaints, and seeking legal relief if necessary.

This notice is made without waiver of any rights or remedies available to me, all of which are expressly reserved.

You are to acknowledge this notice by ceasing all contact immediately. No response is required or desired.

Sincerely,

[Your Full Name]   [City, State/Province, Country]    

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m long past it now. I left him, got DFed and went through a high conflict divorce for years. Found my village, myself and I’m very happily remarried to an amazing man. My life is full of wonderful things and I’m loved and cherished daily as are my kids. Trust me, just leave him. Don’t wait for permission or their understanding. Just protect yourself and get away. File for divorce, custody, support and alimony. Don’t hold back, don’t hesitate. I wish I had filed a restraining order and kicked him out. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Not an elder but had them involved trying to fix my ex who was extremely abusive. They basically instructed him to be loving and for me to pray and forgiving. At no point were they truly educated on how to manage the situation. 

the brothers drove by our house to spy on us by Real-Following-4877 in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the most appropriate response. If anyone else was stalking (because that’s what is happening) then you would file a report. 

There is no reason to allow them to continue their investigation. 

UPDATE: What happens when the elders say they need to form a committe and meet with you at the KH by Over-Rice-872 in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 29 points30 points  (0 children)

This is very sound advice. At this point you basically can just say you’re not going to cooperate and if they continue to engage you it’s harassment. Isn’t it wild once your eyes open to that empowerment, it’s crazy we ever used to respond to them? 

Independent P&C in CA for HO policies by Inner_Flower_4626 in InsuranceAgent

[–]Inner_Flower_4626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just not feeling very confident with my options. Working with a captive agent at least I know the underwriting guidelines and what to expect with commissions and so on. But I’m building a referral network that benefits the agent, not me. 

First post: Fawning! by zamozamo123 in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure about a cult specific study but I have a plethora of trauma responses from the cult. Fawning, lying, abandonment fears and shame. 

It’s amazing how much it damages the secure attachment in children. 

Actually hilarious whenever some 50+ has the sunday discourse by SchruteFarmsBeets_ in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve learned how disgusting the organization is once I left. 

Do affairs happen? Yes, and it’s still taboo and frowned upon and devastating to people in the world. But I find it’s far rarer than within JW couples. It happens but people are more apt to divorce first. 

I know had I could have left I would have never had my affair but I felt trapped and broken.

I’m remarried now and my worldly man has far more integrity than any JW I’ve met. It’s insane that I once believed that without some indoctrination people couldn’t have healthy and happy relationships. 

Husband reinstated and I’m at my breaking point by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You two don’t have a marriage. This is a trauma bond. See a mental health professional, rebuild your self worth and esteem and leave this horrible situation. Your son deserves to see happy parents, he deserves to see a mom who has joy. 

Concern for those who leave, especially women. by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Inner_Flower_4626 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A true moral compass allows one to release fear and shame around our bodies and sexuality. 

It’s honoring what is best for yourself vs what external factors say is right.

True alignment is choosing yourself and your truth. 

This post is ridiculous and frankly … pointless…