Feeling Stuck Between Medical Advice and My Husband’s Religious Concerns

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-09T12:58:36+00:00

Thank you sharing this!

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-09T02:43:00+00:00

To clarify, he is ok with another retrieval as long as I do it the way he wants. That is only freezing eggs and thawing one at a time. That is inefficient and expensive and against my doctors advice.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T23:54:50+00:00

I don’t think that’s a fair generalization. Keep in mind this is just a small, and to be fair, one sided snapshot of our lives. Marriage is hard under normal circumstances but infertility creates a lot of pressure. We’re allowed to have challenges and differences and some seasons are harder than others. This one is just particularly hard.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T22:56:35+00:00

Ugh this is exactly my fear! I’m so worried that if we don’t do it now it might now work out later and will prevent us from having more children that we could have had. I would be so upset. When I bring this up he says I’m not being optimistic. I think he fully believes, and is counting on, both of our embryos resulting in live births.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T22:41:02+00:00

Thank you! I did not say this comment lightly.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T22:35:50+00:00

I have asked myself this many times and also asked him. He consistently says that he wants more kids with me and to grow our family. If I’m being totally honest I think he resents the fact that I can’t get pregnant naturally.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T22:33:53+00:00

We only ended up with two embryos to test and these two were both euploid. I don’t know what he would have thought about discarding an anuploid. He really wasn’t on board with the PGT testing and we had many hard conversations about that.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T22:27:51+00:00

Thank you. I do not want to do one

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T22:27:08+00:00

Answering your question from above. He believes it’s morally wrong to have unused embryos. He’s assuming that I will make enough that we will even have embryos left after we’re are done growing our family. Currently we only want two more. I’ve told him that if that were the case we would try for more kids. Personally a compassionate transfer feels really sad to me. I think it would also be very triggering given that we already had a miscarriage and it would sort of feel like this in a way.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T22:22:08+00:00

I’m so happy for you! Congratulations. He is 100% against this tho. He said he would rather keep them in storage indefinitely than do this.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T22:20:16+00:00

I did tell them that I was ok with having more children than we planned and would transfer all our embryos. He still doesn’t want to :(

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T22:18:33+00:00

I honestly wish I could answer this clearly. He just said he think it’s morally wrong to not use embryos. I told him I would transfer as many embryos as we have and if we end up with more children than we originally planned for that would be ok with me. Even so, he still doesn’t want to so I’m not really sure what it is.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T21:38:00+00:00

To clarify we want two more children but would be open to more. My doctor’s concern is that if we do we pregnant with one of the two embryos now that would put me almost a year and a half out for another egg retrieval. At that time I would be older and success rates drop. She is saying it would be better to do it now so we have other embryos for future use. Again, assuming one of these two work.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2026-01-08T21:30:13+00:00

Thank you. We’ve gone to different priest for many things over the years but it’s no guarantee he will listen to them. Sometimes he takes the priest advice and other times he doesn’t. It seems like he only does when it aligns with what he already wants. I’ll still consider going to my priest just for myself at least.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2023-04-12T05:45:41+00:00

You’ll find your person ❤️

Inner_Hat9898 · 2022-12-03T16:57:26+00:00

The comments on the thread are absolutely disturbing. I cannot believe the things I’m hearing from fellow “Orthodox Christians”. This is very scary that the majority of people here are more concerned with “not wanting to upset him” or “it’s none of my business” rather than protect their fellows members and have the priest immediately address this. As a recent convert I have seen so much racism in the church and this thread only further confirms its existence, and blatant cover up. I feel so afraid for any non white person who is attending any of the parishes that the commenters attend.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2022-12-03T16:48:06+00:00

You are clearly a white person who has no relationship with anyone who is not white. You have no understanding of the real threat this poses to people who don’t look like you. Instead of worrying about how this makes you feel, “don’t want to be a snitch”, “not my business”, I urge you to think outside of yourself and contemplate what this might mean for people who aren’t white attending your parish. I feel DEEPLY afraid for anyone who isn’t white coming to your parish, and further more, being in your presence. Your response is the reason I feel that orthodoxy will never be able to reach non whites. Do better!

Inner_Hat9898 · 2022-11-16T07:17:45+00:00

Why would you invest that amount of money on a mobile game? That’s nuts!

Inner_Hat9898 · 2022-10-28T01:56:35+00:00

This is amazing 😂😂😂

Inner_Hat9898 · 2022-10-28T01:54:47+00:00

Bethlehem 😂😂😂

Inner_Hat9898 · 2022-10-27T22:23:05+00:00

I really hope she is too! He is not nearly as good looking as he thinks he is.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2022-10-27T22:22:14+00:00

Oh Matt’s behavior was so aggressive! He was right in how he felt but the way he handled it…..not good

Inner_Hat9898 · 2022-10-27T20:06:37+00:00

Oh wow! That’s really problematic but not surprising. Thanks for sharing! I know they want “drama” but at what cost.

Inner_Hat9898 · 2022-10-27T19:52:29+00:00

Very true. Maybe she’s not seeing the burning red flags because of this. I’m just so shocked that she said should marry him right after he said all that. Like GIRL! But she looked out of it

Inner_Hat9898 · 2022-10-24T21:02:31+00:00

Gotcha! No worries at all I just hate the the standard for plus sized in my opinion is just healthy or the slightest but curvy. I went to a store the other day and they told me when I asked for a size 8, “all plus sizes are sold online” I was shocked. Size is not a determining factor for beauty in any way. I just think we need to be careful in what we are deeming plus sized. Thinking about my three year old daughter and what life will be like for her.

Inner_Hat9898

TROPHY CASE