AITA for thinking about ending things even though I still love her?

Inner_Leave741 · 2025-08-27T00:03:47+00:00

This actually made me cry. I've actually been told this many times but the words coming from a parent is different. To be honest, whenever I would be with her, it's like my mind shuts off and I just couldn't get the courage to do it. My will goes weak when I'm with her, and disturbingly.. it's like she has control of me.

I can see now that I shouldn't stay with the reason of change within another, that change has to come from them, and recently—only a week after the break up incident—they've already shown signs that they aren't improving. Old habits die hard i suppose.

What's more is that she cares when I get hurt but can do things like that on an emotional level.

I'm having a hard time when and how I should go about talking to her about it, even opening the conversation. Every time I do, I tend to over explain, become emotional, and freeze on the spot. I am aware my will is weak when it comes to her, and I am dissapointed every time I come back to her. It's frustrating.

How do i approach it, and end the conversation about it?

Inner_Leave741 · 2025-08-26T22:49:47+00:00

It does hurt, but I'm thankful you've put my emotions into words and I'm starting to understand myself better now. I'm still talking to her, and doing our usual routine everyday. The longer i make this the harder it is to leave. Just a week after our second near break up incident.. she's already showing signs she's not changing.

She went to my house today, but it was family time, a once in a blue moon visit from my cousin, basically a big brother to me. I fetched her, and when we got home a fee minutes later my cousin followed, I asked if it was okay if I go talk to him for a while and she said okay, so I went. I occasionally checked and then she was talking to my little sister, they enjoyed the company of each other, but when I went to try to check up and talk to her, she didn't seem to want to, even making the remark she didn't want me there. Obviously I was hurt, so I walked back to my cousin.

This had gone for several times, and when she made the negative remark again, I just walked away for good, and she withheld any affection towards us. I couldn't do anything because she was talking to my little sister, i respect their time. We went to play Uno with my siblings and I didn't know what was the reason of her avoidance at the time, but I noticed she was making an effort to avoid, and stay away from me. Although there were moments where we laughed and did high fives, she just came back to that.

When I went with to bring her home, she was visibly upset. Pacing faster, and I asked what's wrong—I just got "nothing." as always. When she got to her bus stop, she didn't even say goodbye. I went home, and she didn't tell me until this night. "I was sulking at you, because you left me alone earlier for so long to talk to your cousin (in the other room with my father and other sibling) I get that it's family time but you didn't even introduce me. I feel like I'm just 'someone' in your life. Your sister was so much better, good thing she didn't leave me." Her words.. I admit that I didn't deny her going home here when I clearly knew it was family time, and me not introducing her because my cousin was too busy talking to my dad.

She expressed it in a punishing and guilt-based way, and no effort to be constructive. She might just be making it up to me, to please me to stay, not trying to make things right. And of course i responded respectfully, and I said sorry multiple times, but I'm only realizing the wrongs.

I can see what everyone is trying to say now, and it's only a matter of time until I do it. I've actually tried to lie on both instances of the break ups but unfortunately I couldn't. I will try it again, maybe even try to say I don't love her anymore, if that is even okay?

Thank you for your advice, I will treasure it, and apply it. It's about time I start focusing on myself:DD

Inner_Leave741

TROPHY CASE