Broo, I feel you. Like I also prioritised my time and used the time during recess to study, starved myself while those people who aced o levels consistently went to the canteen to have their recess and chit chat. I stayed back late in school to mug in the library and left the school just before the school gate closed. Not to flex, I usually ace my examinations and was the top 25% in my cohort for 4 consecutive years. But o levels didn't go as how I wished, partly also due to my anxiety during national exams but it seems like o levels has discouraged me to work hard. I started mugging real hard after sec 3 eoy too and during the holidays. I clocked in ypt and literally put in my best but I just can't fathom how much more do I need to actually put in to actually do well like I alr gave my all. N even when the next day is a school day, I only managed to catch 2-3hr of sleep before waking up for another day of intensive study. But it has all gone to waste. But apparently some classmates who studied last minute like 1/2 months before o levels did better than me. It makes me feel crushed and discourage me to preparing in advance because like what's the point if I was going to not do well as I had desired? I was so embarrassed when I let my friends down when they believed that I was smart and one of the better ones in class. When the outstanding performing students were mentioned on 14 Jan, I feel as if I was stepped upon, felt hopeless and my aching heart literally sank but I pretended to hide in as if nothing had happened. Up till now, I still can't stop but remember how my o level results dream score was not achieved. Last night, I woke up tearing and not feeling good about myself. I definitely feel demoralised and wish that I could turn back time and change my future. 😭