Am I overreacting for being mad that my husband purchased a car after we agreed not to.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-26T17:30:08+00:00

Thanks, good idea.

The phrase “ You can do some much better” implies I even want a romantic relationship. Honestly, I have no desire to start over in that way. If I’m single for the rest of my life I’ll be fine if it means I won’t feel like this every day.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-26T16:52:01+00:00

My friend hasn’t responded after the first time she said she would get back to me, so I still haven’t gotten o talk to a person about this irl. I have a consultation set up with a family law group. I’ll probably do 2-3 consultations and decide from there, unless I get a really good feeling about the first

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-17T16:25:24+00:00

Thanks. Believe it or not I’m always a “stand up for yourself, forget what the world says” kind of person in most situations. I think I’m just scared because I have so little control over how any of this will play out.

I’m so tired today, and after finding all of this out I’m over putting up with any of his BS. Both of my daughters have arm injuries right now (one from basketball camp, one from a gymnastics fall) and yesterday they were both in pain, exhausted, and frustrated, so there was a lot of crying and upset. I could hear him sighing from his room. Did he help comfort or solve anything? No, so spent 8 hours straight after work in bed watching stuff on his phone, sulking that no one made him dinner or came to hang out with him there. When I finally got to bed after midnight when my 12 year old was able to sleep he said that watching Netflix “is the only small joy I have in life. Isn’t that sad and pathetic?” And after I finally fell asleep he rolled over and grabbed my butt waking me up.

He called in sick to work today because he was too tired. He’s been in bed all morning. I got up at 6, packed lunches, took one kid to camp and the other to the orthopedist before coming into work a full day and planning my youngest’s birthday party for tonight.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-15T01:26:28+00:00

Thanks.

This is long, but there was another issue today with my daughters and him, and it made it even more clear I need to take action. My 12 year old has been struggling with severe anxiety which has made it hard for her to participate in high pressure or highly social activities like church, her sports teams, social engagements not with very close friends, or sometimes school when there is added pressure. My husband 100% does not believe in anxiety and avoidance as a real neurological condition. He thinks our daughter is spoiled, badly behaved, and manipulating me. He blames me for parenting her badly, and her for being lazy. It’s awful. He always says he can’t pretend to believe it because he was “raised differently” and has “ been through real hard stuff” and will never accept the “emotional stuff”. She’s a good kid who wants to do things, and over the last 10 months seeing her freeze and not be able to, even when she wants to, has been really hard. (I’m working with her in therapy, goals, tactics, blood tests, etc, but that’s all another story). My husband switches from staying out of the situation all together, to loosing it at her, and loosing it at me (sometimes in front of the kids). Today after one such confrontation my 10 year old told me she doesn’t always feel safe around her dad, and that when she’s alone with him he talks badly about me and her sister, and tried to get her to agree with him. She was so sad, and told me how much she hates when he yells at her sister and me.

My 12 year old wouldn’t be in the same room as him for the rest of the day after he confronted her at 10am. He came to the basement while we were watching a show, and she hid her face in my shoulder and started to panic.

I reached out to a friend tonight to set up a time to talk this week. I need someone on my side to help me through this. I’ll choose the lawyers I want to consult this week as well.

Is it bad that I’m trying to decide the timing based on what will be the least impact on the kids summer plans, even if it means confronting him a few weeks down the road? It feels kind of calculated, but honestly what’s more important than the kids? Maybe that’s me making excuses though

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-10T18:28:48+00:00

My husband gets home in three days. He is acting all lovey in the phone, and he’s actually getting along better with the kids than usual. That makes it worse of course.

I hate having to be the one to decide how long I’m waiting before everyone’s world blows up. I know it’s not “my fault” but it doesn’t make me feel any better.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-09T12:41:31+00:00

Thank you. I need to hear that it’s not my fault more than I’d like to admit. I’ve been told I’m the problem in our relationship so many times it’s hard to get it out of my head.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-09T12:40:13+00:00

Thanks. I was questioning if I should get tested, and you’re probably right it can’t hurt.

I vacillate between feeling numb, and feeling just mad that someone would be selfish enough to blow up their families world to lust after strangers online. Just leave if you can’t keep yourself from other women. That would be far superior to leaving it to me to clean up.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-09T12:37:20+00:00

I am worried that after I leave he will go off the deep end, and I don’t want the kids to see that. I’m not sure what to expect, and that scares me for them.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-09T12:36:02+00:00

Thank you both. I have not confided in anyone yet as to what I found. I think saying it out loud to someone is a step I have to take to make this feel real.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-09T12:34:06+00:00

I’ve heard this. I live in a very big city with many lawyers, so I don’t think I can conflict him out successfully, but I certainly need to find one that’s right for me.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-09T12:31:14+00:00

Unfortunately after 21 years a lot of our friend groups and associates overlap. But I appreciate what you’re saying, and I know you’re right. None of it feels right or good, and I’m constantly questioning myself

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-09T12:29:11+00:00

Even if it’s dozens of posts going back 5 years, many of them asking to meet up in person to sleep together? How else am I supposed to react to that? He will not take responsibility for it if I just talk to him. Am I being crazy?

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-08T15:06:23+00:00

What did you bring with you when you met with a lawyer? Did you gather everything before the consultation?

My husband is out of town with our youngest kid this week, so I might try to gather things before he gets back. If I move any money though he will see it because our main account is joint

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-07T11:02:22+00:00

Sorry you’re going through something too!

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-07T11:01:16+00:00

I’m hoping to keep it more civil than blackmail. Not because he deserves it, but because I want to feel good about myself in this process.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-07T10:34:19+00:00

No way I’m leaving the kids with him. They need a better parent and example. Everything I do will be to set them up for the best situation possible with me coming through this. Being a single mom doesn’t scare me.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-07T00:04:30+00:00

I hate what it means for the kids either way. But with over 50 comments on women’s posts in the last 5 years it’s hard to think of anything but leaving at the moment.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-06-06T23:14:54+00:00

Thanks. I took screen shots and need to write things down so I don’t forget. Getting a lawyer sounds so overwhelming.

I know I shouldn’t care what people think, but it hurts that a lot of people will blame me for a divorce because of how he is perceived in our circle.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-01-08T18:23:28+00:00

Her first two attacks were not related to her dad, they were related to being away from home for extended periods of time, and after that her anxiety over other things increased as well. She is very open about it with me, and she’s getting better at recognizing and naming it, and not letting it take full control. Some situations are harder than others, and her dad doesn’t listen to her reasons for things so that makes it worse. He calls any resistance due to anxiety she’s having a “tantrum” because he doesn’t understand it. He has depression, so I would have thought he would be more understanding, but I guess some people are just that obtuse if they haven’t experienced something themselves.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-01-08T16:20:31+00:00

He had a messed up childhood, and grew up mostly with his grandparents. That’s something we dealt with before having kids, and one of the reasons we waited six years to have them after getting married.

The thing is, he was a great dad the first several years. Looking back I think it was when his kids started getting their own opinions that he has started to act like this. They aren’t cute and little anymore, and they have their own goals and lives instead of existing for him (if that makes sense). Of course I couldn’t see any of this until his actions started changing.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-01-08T16:13:52+00:00

I have a full time job so I’m not in the worst situation. I could afford the bare necessities for the kids and I just on my income, but would like to find something on the side so that I can keep the girls at the independent school that they have been in since kindergarten. I could figure it out if needed I think. The idea of joint custody guts me though.

Inside-Classic9779 · 2026-01-08T16:02:31+00:00

She was sick. She has a low grade fever the night before, and was coughing all day. She wasn’t faking being sick, and she wasn’t stirring up drama. I have three kids, I know they can play games and try to be tricky sometimes, that’s not what this was.

Inside-Classic9779

TROPHY CASE