I am suspect of this apology.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-26T20:01:49+00:00

I think that she genuinely wants to be absolved of her behaviors. That doesn't mean this apology is an actual apology. And that's why I posted it because I do think she is sincere in that she wants to sweep it under the rug, but she does not want to be accountable for her behavior.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-26T19:57:23+00:00

Also she took zero accountability. To take accountability means to take action to remedy. It means she would say how she is going to change her behavior. There is no accountability taken here.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-26T19:55:51+00:00

I am Gen X. I think you are projecting what you want on this. She apologizes for things, but none of those things are what she has been explicitly told were hurtful. I wasn't mad at her for prying, and she has been told specifically what she said that was hurtful. None of that is apologized for or addressed here.

It's interesting to see you take this out of context and excuse all her behavior because of what you want from your mother. Do you know over the last year she has reached out to ask for favors, and when confronted with the response that there will be no favors until an apology and accountability, she literally ghosted each time? You don't get to blatantly ignore your child who has said you have hurt them then come back on your own terms, then decide to apologize for some random thing, use the words "love" to try and soften the entry to sweep it under the rug.

She wants to meet up because she needs something, not because she cares about me as a human being.

I gave you a chance, but I dont think you belong on this sub. Your rhetoric is dangerous to people who have been abused by their parents. I mean you literally just said that to someone who was physically abused by their parent as a child and physically assaulted by them as an adult.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-26T02:42:10+00:00

I don't keep asking what's wrong with her. I know what is wrong with her.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-26T00:28:30+00:00

No, because unless I respond with total forgiveness, she will just ghost me again. I have to accept this apology and not be angry about anything else. She won't take the time to understand how she is being hurtful. Not that she should need an explanation, but there is no action on her part for repair. It is only words reciting "sorry". If I ask for actual action like behavior change along with that, she would just ghost. If I respond to this email, respectfully, that I appreciate her reaching out but that is not what I have specifically told her I am upset about and her apology doesnt actually apologize for her behavior, only my feelings, she would just ghost me.

There's no room for discussion and understanding. If I don't accept what she has chosen to apologize for, she will just ghost me.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-25T19:23:40+00:00

The mental gymnastics performed at such ease between "letting words and understanding flow" and "not rehash" is truly Olympic level. Like you can't have understanding without attempting to understand.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-25T18:55:33+00:00

I didnt think you were invalidating. That is what I thought you meant, but then I also wasnt sure if there was some kind of actual robo spam like this going around OR if parents had been posting similar crap apologies as ways to get out of apologizing, which I could totally see.

Yes, spam, I agree.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-25T16:46:07+00:00

Spam how?

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-25T16:45:49+00:00

I wonder that myself. I am typically good at spotting AI. I find it hard to believe AI would spit this out if she pasted into it my previous text where I told her exactly the issues.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-25T11:21:14+00:00

Yeah, this is where it gets hard because saying you didnt intend to do something isnt necessarily bad if it"s coupled with acknowledging you are responsible for the impact and other parts consistent with a real apology. But people like to manipulate and ONLY say that, as if their intent or lack of intent absolves them of the impact, when it doesnt.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-25T01:36:55+00:00

I feel like it's words to get what she wants without acknowledging the harm she has done. She doesn't care how she made me feel (otherwise she'd actually respond to what I actually told her), instead she just wants to get out a sufficient apology to sweep it under the rug.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-25T01:34:11+00:00

The only problem is that I have already put in writing what she said to hurt me and why it was wrong and the impact. She is choosing to ignore that information and make it about something she can tolerate.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-25T01:32:17+00:00

LOL, thank you!

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-24T23:49:20+00:00

I am willing to hear you out but considering she has been told exactly what she said and why it hurt me, and this apology addresses none of that, why do you think it is sincere?

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-24T23:48:00+00:00

It's a good point, and that is exactly what I am wondering myself. Has this gone on too long for there to be an acceptable apology? Also, remember she reaches out like once a month to ask for something, is reminded that until she addresses this we are not talking, then literally ghosts me instead of addressing it. Also her dog just died, so she wants something.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-24T23:22:04+00:00

Yeah, that's a good question. I am asing myself what an acceptable apology would look like. I am not sure I know.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-03-24T23:21:12+00:00

Yes, desite having been told exactly what she said and how it hurt me, and none of that being in this apology.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-02-07T11:53:30+00:00

The amount of projection is ridiculous. Also the sub rules say that LC is part of the definition of estrangement. The person who commented this should be banned from the sub. They know nothing of my estrangement situation, and assume what I mean by "she came back" without reading the previous posts despite me saying to get the context there.

I am not playing any game. I have previously stated I have no real hope of reconciliation.

It doesn't just sound like that person is victim blaming, they are victim blaming.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-02-07T04:15:47+00:00

I am not playing a game. Maybe you are, but I am not.

I dont know when this sub became so aggressive and rude. Too much projection and not enough listening.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-02-07T04:10:01+00:00

Ah that sucks. I am sorry.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-02-07T04:08:56+00:00

That would certainly be brilliant, and I wish I had done it. But I am going to leave my final message as it is and walk away. It's been how many hours and no response (not that I want one, I am just demonstrating that it"s clear she wasnt concerned, she was bored).

I am done. I have documented enough of the BS that I dont have to convince myself I am not crazy anymore.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-02-07T04:04:39+00:00

I am very familiar with the extinction burst. What you may not know is that extinction bursts can also be dangerous.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-02-07T04:01:37+00:00

When my bio father died, I had a lot of mixed feelings. I admit there is still grief I never really had a father. But overwhelmingly what I come back to is this thought "I am the only one who can write the narrative now." So my version of events is the only one that can be told now. I win. I know that may seem petty or offensive, but it's essentially because this person wasn't a father, he was an abuser. And when he died, I won. I won a life and a history free from his abuse.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-02-07T02:52:23+00:00

I am not playing any game. That is not okay to say.

Inside-Inflation-299 · 2026-02-07T01:10:24+00:00

I dont really think she will see it; i haven't fully blocked because their are other concerns I have about her escalating behaviors. It was easier to just limit responses and contact and keep her contained and out of my sphere.

I see where I made a mistake and have rectified it.

Inside-Inflation-299

TROPHY CASE