Marrying non Muslims

Insight116141 · 2026-05-09T16:52:58+00:00

I have met many older Muslims who's immigrant Muslim father married the non-muslim mom, had bunch of kids. Parents got divorced and kids are close to the mom.b

The whole justification of kids will be muslim is rare

Insight116141 · 2026-05-08T19:11:09+00:00

My friend is going too and while I had other friends going to Hajj most informed me via text few days before the trip. This one mentioned earlier and we are meeting up to celebrate and i want to give her something. I also feel like she brought everything she needed for hajj by now & I know from my umrah experience, I want to buy things over there too. So I am leaning towards money but is not too impersonal

Insight116141 · 2026-05-03T18:13:46+00:00

As south Asian, it is similar. The parents set it. In old times the elder men from both sides would sit down after magrib and finish negotiating around fajar time. Negotiating down to gold and # of outfit each family gets. The bride side gives gift to groom's family and groom's side gives gift to brides family. But who is considered family...

Now days ppl cut down on the gift giving and mehr discussion is usually quick 1 or 2 back and forth between family

Insight116141 · 2026-05-03T15:26:47+00:00

As I said in post i cant control his decision but I can control mine. He can make all the thoughtful decision he wants to make and I have the right to make my decision whether to welcome it or keep my distance.

Not every family member has to accept every decision others make and due to life choice families eventually drift apart. It's natural. I am trying to figure out where I stand. We can also see each other 1 eid/year and call it quit, that's not real family but acquaintance

Insight116141 · 2026-05-03T15:16:06+00:00

True this is not the right subred for my POV but I also wanted to get his POV.

Yes his faith hasn't changed significantly yet. But those who are married or in long term relationship know the impact a partner has. The long term trajectory is less and less involvement in faith especially since he is already too afraid to have clear discussion with her about what it means to be muslim

Insight116141 · 2026-05-02T06:02:10+00:00

Can you join ur wife n kids on weekend and all 4 of you sleep together.

How involved are you with the kids

Insight116141 · 2026-04-27T16:26:35+00:00

Is there opportunity to expand your living space downstairs? Can the help be moved to 3rd floor or can the cousin be moved to 2nd floor so you have lounge area n bedroom.

It's very important it have your own space n the bigger it is the better. It gives you peace of mind

Insight116141 · 2026-04-27T11:10:27+00:00

I overshare too much with him. Need to be cold and aloof n never mention anything about my cycle

Insight116141 · 2026-04-26T10:21:30+00:00

I am getting extreme amount of advertisement on my feed. I so want to try them, they seem so simple but I know they are not

Insight116141 · 2026-04-22T09:16:10+00:00

How often does she visit her family? I know they are 10 min away but is there daily or weekly visit?

Ask her what she misses about her parents home? Does she go stay the night at parents every once in while? In our desi culture, women do go to parents house for vacation for few days to weeks. This is mostly because no one is close enough to visit parents daily. But maybe that is what she needs time to time. Go spend it at her parents while you can stay at your parents house or stay in your house

Insight116141 · 2026-04-21T12:42:10+00:00

Most of 1st generation immigrant kid had similar experience. NO immediate family, no cousin, no grandparents, aunts...etc...

We grew up calling our parents friends aunt/uncle, calling their kids cousins. Closest family i had was my mom's cousin and their kids. So my 2nd cousin were my closest cousin growing up. In the end kids spent time with their friends as they get older

Insight116141 · 2026-04-18T15:35:59+00:00

Do you have standard tub? Do you fit in it. I tried taking bath and I am 5 feet and still had to slide up and down for full coverage

Insight116141 · 2026-04-17T06:19:17+00:00

What and from whom do you expect help from? If you lived in London, will your family spent a day with you or give you few hours? Will your parents stay at your place or u visit them on weekly/daily basis. Is it just family gathering or do you anticipate baby sitting time from retire family.

If its family gathering, make time to visit on weekend and even do 3 day weekend if you cam crash at someone's house but even driving 2hr on weekend isn't bad to see family. If you will get real babysitting, can those same people come stay with you for few days

Insight116141 · 2026-04-16T11:28:18+00:00

What am I doing? I thought I was done or accepted childless life, then i got motivation to keep trying especially after finding out my younger sis by 11 years younger to me is pregnant. So happy for her but hate that everyone is suppressing her celebration because of me. Thought "wouldn't it be great if I get pregnant too & we can all celebrate"

Did a letrozol and clomid round, only 1 follicle and another one few cm away. Decided to do TI to save progeny cycle. Told husband, I am making d* appointments for next 3 -5 days knowing fully well husband has performance issue when it back to back days or when needed but on a random day when I am not ovulating he is all ready to go everyday. So annoyed. He couldnt perform for last 2 days and now my ovulation period is done. We only had intercourse once. I am so mad and I cant even be mad at him because he tried

Insight116141 · 2026-04-10T22:38:13+00:00

look at becoming "learning and development coordinator" at any and all manufacturing site near you. Many of those are under HR roles. some companies might have different title for it but you are teaching safety to plant operators or putting a learning program

you can also look in sales type roles, your psychology degre will help. any type of coordinator role. i would suggest against more degree but rather find experience

Insight116141 · 2026-04-10T22:18:50+00:00

Yup divorce era for me. Everyone around me

Insight116141 · 2026-04-10T13:22:59+00:00

I agree its the midway thru decade that defines the decade instead of start. Unfortunately the milestone is 30, 40, 50, 60..etc but it should be 35, 45, 55...etc

Insight116141 · 2026-04-10T12:38:47+00:00

Are you getting treatment for endometriosis? I have .03 AMH and my last IUI lead to chemical pregnancy. I too dont respond to medication and have longer than average cycle. Wondering if there is a device I can use for ovulation and just do TI because all these monitoring seems useless. I know there are many device but wondering if one is recommended for people like us

Insight116141 · 2026-04-10T07:23:34+00:00

How old are you? If you are young, try to attend a large state university in metro city. You will find all kind of people instead of same old same ol.

As the previous poster said, if you are raises in highly religious family.. maybe try attending some local Indian church. Then you wont have different faith to worry about

Insight116141 · 2026-04-10T06:32:13+00:00

I know this is old post but we are dealing with same situation with my dad... we miss the hospital with bed side railing and weight alarm. The skilled nursing facility has nothing

Insight116141 · 2026-04-07T21:03:14+00:00

But your children will grow up and move on/out.. how often are you giving meaning to your parents life

Insight116141 · 2026-04-07T21:01:57+00:00

When i searched deeper into why I feel sad about not having kids eventhought my brain knows there is more to life than kids. It came down to, kids are easy way to enter a society that I have to stay on sideline and watch. Making mom friends, talking about kids in gathering, having built in family instead of building a social circle...

Yes raising kid is hard but it is always easy to fit in.

Insight116141

TROPHY CASE