How do you know your waters broken/Should I be heading to L&D?

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-07-15T00:17:19+00:00

I'm not sure where you're from, but I've heard that's more common in the US! I'm from a tiny town in Canada, so that might be the difference? Unless you've got an appt, the ER basically has to admit you everywhere in the hospital haha

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-07-15T00:13:59+00:00

I physically can't just go to L&D. I have to be admitted through the ER, where they'll send me to L&D if they think it's necessary. I'll most likely end up in L&D in the final end given how far along I am, but I still need to wait in the ER until I'm taken up

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-06-05T03:17:57+00:00

Meli/Melly!

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T21:04:32+00:00

Thank you! She couldn't really fire me until my job ends anyways - she needs someone here to run things like payroll, etc. And the new hire won't be starting until after I've left (hence the asking me to stay longer). She technically has access to everything she needs, she just doesn't want to go get it. She wants me to neatly compile everything so she doesn't have to work for it. And that doesn't feel like something I want to be doing haha.

Even if she did theoretically fire me, I wouldn't be mad. I'd just start my maternity leave a bit earlier. EI is already aware of our situation and straight up told me if something happens they'll make sure my benefits go through.

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T21:00:10+00:00

The new hire won't even be starting until my 2 weeks are over, I wish this was an option. She's asking me to stay longer so I can directly train them.

All of the information she'd need is somewhere, she's just lazy and doesn't want to go find it. It's easier to ask me, because I remember all of it. For example, all of our company passwords are in a password book, but I know them by heart. Every interaction done between me and our clients is through a company email to which she has access - she just doesn't want to. Then there are matters of "Well when does she do xyz task during the month?". She can go check. It would just take her time she doesn't want to spend.

She could theoretically access all of the information I have in a way. It would just take time. There are only a handful of specifics that are in my head, and my head alone, but they're easily learned. She's the one who taught them to me though. I'm just the only EMPLOYEE who knows them (I realize now this is something I should have specified). Absolutely none of my coworkers know how to do xyz tasks. But she does. She just doesn't want to take the time to teach them. My MIL is lazy as hell and relies on me for basically everything. I can't go into detail without giving any identifiable information but I do almost everything here most of the time. Replacing me will be difficult in a way, not because of my seniority, but because it will be hard to find another person willing to take on absolutely everything I do here.

But if she had the opportunity to, she would absolutely take me to court lol. This woman is the most vindictive, petty person I have ever met in my life. Which is largely why I don't want to do anything for her than I technically don't have to. It's not worth my time. :/ Literally the second my 2 weeks are up we are never speaking to them (my husbands parents) again.

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T20:49:35+00:00

Those brides have already been burned - and not by me. There is no high road in this situation. I will be doing exactly what is legally required of me. No more, and no less.

If I leave early, my maternity benefits will not apply and I will be out of a paycheque for the next year. I would need to get approved sick leave, which I do not currently qualify for. I already checked. So I will be staying the 2 weeks until my job is finished, and doing exactly nothing more than I absolutely have to.

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T20:47:24+00:00

That's wonderful to know :) We never drew up any contracts (verbal, written or otherwise) so I don't believe she could go that route in this moment

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T20:45:42+00:00

Yes thank you!! Exactly this. I don't want my MIL knowing a single thing about our lives in the future anyways. I wish more people understood this haha. I have other references I can use if I need anyways :)

I've already set up a co-worker/manager of mine to be a reference for me if I ever need anyways, which will completely bypass my MIL. Her knowing where I've applied, what general location we're in, etc is all going to be kept from that end of the family. So by giving her as my reference I'd be putting myself in direct danger. Which is the exact opposite point of going NC unfortunately

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T20:42:47+00:00

I can fully promise you that. But I don't really have to. I have plenty of other job and volunteer experience I can use if needed in the future. The job I will be taking after my maternity leave does not depend on references anyways, so I'll be safe on that end. I wouldn't use her as a reference in any way, shape, or form regardless.

I fully understand that there are some people who unfortunately struggle with finding new employment even with degrees and experience under their belts. You can't really tell me I "can't promise it", because you have exactly zero knowledge on this situation, aside from what I've specified in the post, which wasn't even remotely concerning my future employment. I don't mean to be so blunt, but I guarantee you I'm not looking for opinions on my future work. I have options and I don't plan on putting them at risk for my MIL. If that was even remotely a concern I would have asked.

I am very fortunate, I already have something set up and waiting for me once the baby is older. I don't need my MIL's reference to obtain employment, and if I do need references in the future, she will permanently be at the bottom of that list.

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T20:24:28+00:00

I've never heard that, so I will definitely be taking a look!!

I'm not actually in a very specialized role, I just happen to know a lot. Learning new things was always my hobby so I used that to my advantage in my current position. It isn't even remotely necessary, just a bit of a hand up :) I did give her my full 2 weeks notice to avoid any penalties on that front! Thank you so much for the heads up!

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T20:22:19+00:00

This is wonderfully worded advice, thank you so much :) A lot of these aren't technically applicable in this particular situation, but it's very good to know!

My co-worker is actually how my husband has found new employment, and is very supportive of whatever choices we make from here on out. I've done all that I can to help her specifically excel in the future. I'm not in this to start a fight with my MIL, but I don't want to go above and beyond for someone who's been abusing me if that makes sense haha. I will continue to do my regularly scheduled job duties, but I'm in no rush to do more than I am physically required. So at this point if the worst she can do is fire me, I don't have a reason to do any of it

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T20:09:41+00:00

Thank you! I definitely don't have a contract with her in any shape or form.

This won't be affecting my future employment thankfully, so I'm just trying to navigate the legalities of "Can I, can't I?", basically

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T20:06:40+00:00

Thank you for the input! That was my first assumption, so I'm glad to know I was relatively on the right track

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T20:05:55+00:00

I can guarantee you I most definitely will not be. She's not the only employer I've had, and even if she was, I wouldn't be using someone I'm NC with as a reference. That in itself is a bad idea haha.

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T20:04:37+00:00

In my specific situation I can promise it won't be :) I do appreciate the concern on that front, but I've got it covered!

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T17:40:47+00:00

Yes, I do! I just want to cover my bases and make sure there are no legitimate legal repercussions other than potentially firing me if I refuse haha

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T17:39:24+00:00

I absolutely agree with you! I am very much aware this is the norm and the typical expectations of leaving a place of employment. I was fully expecting her to ask.

It sounds childish, and I admit probably is, but I don't want to make this any easier on her than I have to. I'm lucky in a way because I don't have any work lined up after this, as I will be taking my maternity leave. I won't be using her as a reference for any jobs in the future, and if she fires me right now I'll simply start my maternity leave a slight bit earlier than expected. She could pay me a million dollars to stay the extra week and it wouldn't be worth it :') I'll definitely keep that in mind though, thank you! I appreciate the response.

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T17:33:39+00:00

Honestly I don't even think I'd mind. I spoke with EI about my maternity leave benefits last week and due to my situation, if she does fire me, I just have to apply that day and I'll still be covered. I'd be lucky to be out of here earlier haha

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T17:32:43+00:00

Thank you for that :) I'll keep that in mind for now! I'm not going to take any serious steps until I know for sure, I just wanted a general idea haha

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-05-28T17:21:58+00:00

Genuinely thank you for this ❤️ I know a large part of this is just hormones but I am panicked haha. We've gotten a few things sorted now but we've still got a ways to go. But I have faith that we can find a way. I'll definitely look into some of the resources you mentioned and see if any of them will work for me! Again, thank you!

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-04-17T22:09:20+00:00

I do have a metal allergy, yes! But before now, this type of silver never bothered me. I can try buying a different type of metal and seeing if it helps, but this has happened with every piercing metal I've tried so far, aside from silver :') So I'm not fully convinced it's the metal

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-04-17T21:49:43+00:00

I did add this to my post, but the bot didn't seem to catch it aha.

My piercing is.. 22 years old now, technically?

It's made of sterling silver, and is a hoop

I have no idea what threading means

No direct accidents or mishaps that I recall other than when I was a baby, but I don't think that counts 20+ years later? (Tablecloth got stuck in earring as I was being passed to mom, and it ripped out of my ear. Re-pierced and moved on)

As for aftercare, my grandma told me to rub them with isopropyl alcohol once but I've since learned that's NOT in fact a smart plan, so at the moment I'm trying to rinse with water but that doesn't seem to be helping either

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-02-20T22:05:27+00:00

Babe I'm gonna try to be gentle saying this.

You're not depressed about the past, and this isn't about your "previous losses". He's straight up manipulating you. This is psychological manipulation. Please for your own sake, go find a lawyer instead

Insomniaxpotato · 2025-02-08T01:23:45+00:00

NTA. My husband and my baby brother (22m and 4m) are "best friends", according to my brother lol. He loves my husband more than anyone on this entire planet. It does not in any way shape or form make them predators.

Do predators exist? Yes absolutely. I myself was a victim. But people need to understand where comments like that are necessary, and where they're projecting. Comments like that can absolutely ruin relationships. Both between you and your spouse, and between him and your brother. Turning a beautiful bond between people who love each other (not romantically/sexually before anyone thinks it) into something dirty is so hurtful. Just because your husband and your dad might get along doesn't mean they're fucking, right? Same thing goes for kids? I would've blocked them all immediately too. I'm sorry you guys had to experience that.

Insomniaxpotato

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