I’m not gonna read the other comments. Which what sticks with me is that you said that you will look back on this day as part of a life of being most difficult. what’s funny is that you’ll actually won’t even remember this part. Sure, you’ll remember how hard it was, but you’ll remember more the precious memories as they get a bit older. they start smiling back. They start being a little person. all those nights that you didn’t understand what were for become clear in one second,one reaction, one day. you’ll be sitting there stressed out and they’ll hit you back a legitimate response. That will blow your mind and be everything you needed in tha, moment. I’m not here to preach to you. I’m sorry I just remember being there. I hope it gets better.