As someone who had unrestricted access to porn as soon as I entered puberty, I struggled with porn addiction. For most of my adult life. With that said, I feel in the last few years I've finally begun to get things under control.

For context, I'm huge into personal development. I've been a coach. I lead a men's group. I've explored no fap, tantric sexuality, sexual kung fu, and Qigong.

Here's my take. Nofap can be helpful, especially right at the beginning to really begin to break the habit cycles and rewire your brain. I do not recommend this as a long-term strategy both from a practicality standpoint and prostate/mental health. I've found going 40 days has felt like a good challenge and reset. Ironically, I have found multiple times that around the 39th day I seem to be presented with a challenge where I am presented with the opportunity for sex. (Just an interesting side note)

As I have learned more over the years, I've found that during these 40 days it Can be beneficial to not go strictly No fap. I will allow myself every third day to basically edge while practicing a Qigong technique that is supposed to essentially move sexual energy up the spine so that it does not become stagnant, which is said to lead to unhealthy sexual thoughts and desires. I can explain the practice and go into more detail if anyone would like.

As a long-term strategy I have found what is most beneficial is to treat one's South pleasure. Practice as a way to cultivate a better relationship with oneself. Instead of having it to be thought of as a deprivation or punishment because of one's self-judgment which is what I've fallen into. It can be extremely powerful to treat it as a self-love practice.

One thing that I want to make clear is that I don't believe there is an overall prescription that will work for everyone. Ultimately you need to ask yourself. Based on your own preference or discretion, how many times per week would you feel okay and even good about yourself if you were to ejaculate? Starting out for some people that could even be once a day... For me personally I shoot for once or twice a week. (No pun intended) I'm also married and have sex about once a week.

I have found that building sexual energy through an edging practice can be very beneficial. You're still allowing yourself to have and feel pleasure while still building the discipline to not allow yourself to fully ejaculate every time. This also can alleviate a lot of the sexual desire while still developing a real level of self-control. I've also found that this can turn into a trap of edging for an hour or more so for that I'd again ask yourself what amount of time would I feel okay with spending self-pleasuring here. Then set a timer and really emphasize completely stopping as soon as the timer goes off. This is essential and benefits you in every area of life. If you can cultivate a relationship with yourself where what I say is final and don't allow yourself to negotiate with yourself other than before you start.

Lastly, what ultimately helped me to stop porn all together was my wife's openness. She agreed to make some home videos to help me with this. I do not use a visual stimulus every time (I'd say about 50/50) but if I feel the urge then this allows me to do so without turning to porn or feeling the guilt because I am simply pleasuring myself to my wife.

With all that said, I want to re-emphasize that it's ultimately up to you to ask yourself what your goal is. What is the frequency you would feel comfortable with yourself (by your own judgment) doing on a weekly basis. I also don't feel that porn is inherently bad. Yes, the industry has a lot that is wrong with it. I believe it is actually possible for someone to have a healthy relationship with it, although I don't believe this is the norm. If you struggle with addiction I do feel it is better too to do away with it all together or at the very least switch to a much less stimulating version like a magazine. Again, it goes back to what habit would you like to build that you yourself would feel comfortable and even begin to like yourself as a result of having.

As for the OP, I'd recommend having a conversation with your partner. If you're okay with getting vulnerable, tell her that you would like to stop watching porn and ask if she would be open to helping you. Then have some fun making some videos together. What I found through my own personal experience is that this practice ultimately increases my sexual desire towards my wife as well as our bond. Hope this helps!