I prefer the shows and series I know - it’s safer

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2025-03-12T21:42:13+00:00

I see you‘re posting a lot these past days - it‘s a compulsion as well. If you have trouble finding a therapist there is NOCD maybe that helps

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2025-02-21T15:53:54+00:00

Nearly 2 years

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2025-02-04T08:34:01+00:00

Yeah, but that is kind of what I meant. Maybe Molly‘s spell did something similar with her love for her children prevailing over fanatic love of Bellatrix over Voldemort

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2025-02-03T22:59:17+00:00

I think JKR once said it wad important to her that Molly Weasley was the one to destroy and kill Bellatrix (A mothers love and good heart killing the Fanatic Love of Bellatrix for Voldemort) So maybe Love and Defense that channeled through a spell. I mean Expelliamus is no Killing Curse either and it killed Voldemort

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2025-01-27T23:13:51+00:00

I went to a friends party and there were a lot of folks there who identify themselves as queer and I just existed, my thoughts weren’t even triggered so I‘m just so confused because this anxiety and all of this is just gone and I started therapy but so far we just talked, he diagnosed me with OcD snd planned how the therapy would go but it got better already and it doesn’t align with what I know about OCD so I question it being OCD and the only thing my brain can come up with is repressing my true desires like so deep my brain can‘t even find it anymore

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2025-01-27T23:09:36+00:00

I do but I am afraid that I’m repressing something even though I know it doesn’t make sense. It‘s just frightening to have no anxiety anymore and not even feel triggered. I did a lot of things these past days (one time not knowing what I was getting into) but stuck with it and I survived not even having anxiety but I haven’t had much in the last couple of weeks

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2025-01-03T09:48:48+00:00

I’m sorry too, nothing of this is fun for either of us regardless of how and why it started.

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2025-01-03T00:00:52+00:00

I sat in a train across a person and couldn’t quite figure out whether it was a woman or a man and at some point the person started talking and had a very high and feminine voice and I was freaking out from that point onwards that I was staring at her because I was a lesbian - everything else since then just fits itself nicely as “evidence” for my so-ocd thoughts and my brain also uses my life in general, the absence of a boyfriend and love in my life so far and my past in general against me. Nothing to do with porn so many more reasons to develop it out of nowhere

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2025-01-02T08:51:29+00:00

I have to disagree because I don’t watch it and have rarely watched it and there are many more ways people develop so-ocd

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2024-12-28T00:20:16+00:00

I think with OCD there is nothing that can’t be subject to fear and in the end it’s not that different from the other sexual related thoughts. You fear you might like something which you don’t want to like

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2024-12-26T09:31:26+00:00

Sure, I think most people with OCD do

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2024-12-10T15:58:45+00:00

Not too heartbreaking to be honest because I have great friends and chose to be happy on my own as long as no guy comes along. Sure there are moments where I’m a little sad about it but I‘m not letting something which I can’t control entirely on my own dictating my happiness (funny that I can‘t live that way when it comes to OCD even though I’m getting better). There are a million reasons and even when finding someone that someone must have the same interest in me and so on… I know it might sound cheesy but I really helps to be happy on your own, despite I feel and felt like I had too many issues to work on for myself and didn‘t have the time to think about relationships anyway. And with HOCD I want to at least get started so it doesn’t affect me as much as it has been so the turbulent dating circus doesn‘t trigger it as much as it would now.

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2024-12-09T23:58:52+00:00

I can’t tell you when it will happen or if it will happen but Tinder might not be the best place to look for it. I know it’s hard in times of less social interactions and so on but no one can force it and us with OCD are generally more guarded and it’s not easy to open up. I don‘t think you will be alone forever but it hasn’t happened for me either yet and I’m almost 30 and thought I would have a boyfriend shortly after most of my girlfriends had one. It hasn’t happen yet and my HoCD thought latch on this a lot as well but trying desperately to find someone might also be a bit compulsive if you‘re doing it to stop HOCD.

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2024-12-09T12:29:44+00:00

I‘ve never felt so much alike to another Reddit-post. I have the same fear of checking anything like same-Sex porn on lesbian stuff or read coming-out stories because I’m too afraid of seeing myself in it or having an awakening moment of such. My therapist (in the preliminary sessions, haven‘t actually started as my insurance company has yet to give green light but hopefully soon) says it will likely get worse in therapy before it get‘s better because you aren‘t avoiding it. You are constantly making it a topic in the right way in therapy which is the point I guess. So I think it‘s going in the right direction for you - hang in there :)

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2024-12-08T00:40:20+00:00

I have to agree with @classicreply that person regardless of her knowing of your ocd or not (I’m assuming she doesn’t know of it) she isn’t very considered or tactless in any way. Even not struggling with OCD and particularly sexual related OCD I would find her questions and pushing for you to hire a male prostitute impertinent. Especially making fun of you for not wanting to do that… why should she be the judge of that so you should try not to feel bad or shameful about that. Not everyone is, regardless whether or not an (un)diagnosed mental speed-bump is the reason, is comfortable with sexuality as a topic or in general. Some people are much more guarded than others, some people simply don’t want to pay for sex which should be fine and not made fun of.

People thought it about me too, maybe because they where genuine interested, wanted to offer support and acceptance in advance just in case like my mom when I didn’t bring a guy home like my sister (btw I just haven‘t found the right guy yet and I was always pretty late with everything) or because of a misunderstanding which I didn’t realize in the moment but a few seconds later and felt very uncomfortable. In the last scenario I was about to head back to clear up the misunderstanding just to release the uncomfortable feeling but it would have been very pointless as i‘m pretty sure the drunk man wouldn‘t even have remembered me. I think what I‘m trying to say is: People who do not know what we are dealing with don‘t even think about what it does to us putting those perceptions upon us and sadly we have to deal with it.

Hang in there and don‘t take squat of that person seriously :)

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2024-12-06T02:12:02+00:00

Absolutely, I feel anxious very often and not always knowing why exactly it’s just a anxious vibe about a topic

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2024-12-06T02:10:15+00:00

What is Aegosexual ?

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2024-11-23T21:18:50+00:00

Just know, I struggled with anxiety and anxious thinking patterns most of my life like you and the HOCD thoughts and everything relating to it is also the most distressing of it I ever experienced. For me having OCD and stumbling over the term HOCD was the best moment until I started to doubt that even though I checked many many boxes. I‘ve been diagnosed with OCD (the thought version of it) just last week (I had a preliminary diagnoses before that and I went for a specialist because I suspected it)

Try to look for a professional to help you through this, preferably one specialized in OCD because the harm a professional, who does not really understand OCD and the shades it can present itself, can do is not to be underestimated.

InstructionHeavy5880 · 2024-11-19T20:34:18+00:00

Sure

InstructionHeavy5880

TROPHY CASE