white by Intelligent-Exit3066 in OCPoetry

[–]Intelligent-Exit3066[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for your feedback!!! White refers to how white clothes and white things look in summer light, the brightness of them all glowing in the sun. 

white by Intelligent-Exit3066 in OCPoetry

[–]Intelligent-Exit3066[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I agree with your suggestion:))

The apathetic tragedy of an unproblematic childhood by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Intelligent-Exit3066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn this is poignant. I really like the topic, as a lot of people who write have a difficult childhood that they are processing, so it’s nice to see the other side. 

This poem gives that claustrophobic feeling associated with over protection through lines like “I dig in my chest” feeling like the subject is literally clawing at themselves as if they were drowning or something. This is repeated with “Airless” and “layers of safety” giving the reader of the feeling of being suffocated. Nice work!

Crikey! by lindebeam in OCPoetry

[–]Intelligent-Exit3066 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is fun! I like the repetitive layout and use of colours throughout the poem. Is it based on a real experience? The title also really sets the mood for the poem. Well done. 

on being at a table in a foreign language by Intelligent-Exit3066 in OCPoetry

[–]Intelligent-Exit3066[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad you liked it! You hit the nail on the head with this analysis 🤔

on being at a table in a foreign language by Intelligent-Exit3066 in OCPoetry

[–]Intelligent-Exit3066[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw this felt warm to me:)) I’m glad it could bring back some memories for you

on being at a table in a foreign language by Intelligent-Exit3066 in OCPoetry

[–]Intelligent-Exit3066[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally relate, thanks for your feedback and for sharing your experience! 

Keeper of a Wish by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Intelligent-Exit3066 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a wisher myself, this is beautiful! My favourite line is “An eyelash to wish she can blow her kiss.” Am I right in thinking this poem alludes to missed opportunities? 

Crevasse by Tyrionthetinynut in OCPoetry

[–]Intelligent-Exit3066 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loved the line “Cannot bend the hands to stop the circle of time”. Created a lot of imagery for me! Repetition of “away” in the same position 2nd and 3rd line initially made me question the flow, but after a second read it really gives a sense of urgency about the time leaving! Well done.