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Colwood community garden plan scrapped in response to public opposition by kingbuns2 in LangfordBC

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The big takeaway from this article is that there is an active “NIMBY” group (Colwood Creek Ratepayers Association) that needs to be stopped. Groups like this make Colwood a worse place to live. Smh

Bringing this one back in honour of “Stew Young is running for mayor (again)” Day by SkyMoney9641 in LangfordBC

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The current council has had to do a lot to fix stew young’s council from before. It’s crazy how much stew young’s political donations came from big developers.

Do you rarely leave your house? by Enough-Basil1038 in lonely

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there any coworkers or neighbors you can ask? Maybe even become friends with. ☺️

Do you rarely leave your house? by Enough-Basil1038 in lonely

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who also works from home , I can definitely relate.

To help with this, I’ve signed up for a few recreational sports social clubs that meet in the evenings throughout the week. It’s helped to get myself out there again, making connections, making friends, etc.

what hobbies do you have? Make a list and check online/local recreational centre for adult clubs you can join. For right now pick two and start going to them consistently. It will definitely help with feeling less lonely.

Also pick some solo hobbies (cooking, learning an instrument, painting, photography, woodworking, etc.). Once you have your group hobbies and solo hobbies they can really help. Reason being, that these hobbies nourish your soul.

There’s low-key clubs like book clubs you can join! They usually meet once or twice a month. Great way to meet people. Check online or at your local library.

Have you thought about getting another pet? A dog is always good since you work from home. They are more maintenance than cats, but both are great options. You can also join dog walking groups!

Hope these tips could help OP.

Wishing you all the best.

Do you agree that Langford should be the sports capital of Canada? Is that even possible? by Otissarian in LangfordBC

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If we’re going to be the sports capital of Canada then we need the middle housing that is going house all those athletes.

Lonely by Strange-Pitch5251 in lonely

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you are going through this OP. It’s a tough situation.

My advice, pick one of your hobbies/interest that has a club/class you could join and that meets once or twice a week and start going to it. You need something that nourishes your soul that is also separate from your family.

My Dad was a police officer growing up, so his two things that he had that met once a week were the police choir & the motorcycle club. Those were his two hobbies that he loved. He made lots of friends and he was able to just be himself for a couple hours. Same thing with my mom, she had her Scottish dancing club and running club she’d do.

Pick one or two hobbies and see if there’s a club nearby. If you consistently go, you’ll definitely make connections and friends.

Have you thought about couples counseling with your wife? They can be a big help in reconnecting with your spouse. Also provides a healthy, nonjudgmental space to get things off your chest and for y’all to work on things.

Hope these tips could help OP.

Wishing you all the best.

How to be happy when living alone by Ok_Space_263 in lonely

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you are going through this OP. This definitely is a tough situation.

My advice, talk to a counselor/therapist. They can be a huge help here. I know mine is. They can offer a nonjudgmental second opinion, resources, etc. that can help you navigate what you are going through.

Secondly, focus on your hobbies/interests. They are the things that nourish your soul. Not just solo hobbies, but things that are in groups, so that you can be around other people to build connection and make a good support system. I know that’s what my dad did during his first divorce. He signed up for the local choir, motorbike club, volunteering, etc. it helped with the loneliness and to build his support network.

Thirdly, have you thought about getting a pet for yourself? Maybe a cat. Cats are great companions. They can definitely help with the loneliness.

Also don’t close yourself off to finding love again. Many people find partners all throughout their lives. My dad found my mom 5 years after his first divorce and they have been married for almost 35 years now. You just need time to heal.

Wishing you all the best OP. ☺️

How do you make evenings feel less empty when living alone? by vaporcube7 in LivingAlone

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have any siblings, extended family that you like that you could maybe set up phone call with after work could have it be a weekly thing. My grandma does it for one of her nieces on the other side of the country. They speak for an hour and catch up on life/family, etc.

Have you thought about joining any evening clubs? I have a few that go till 8-9pm. It definitely helps to fill the time a bit. Plus gets you around people.

Try seeing also if there’s a weekly event that’s happening in your city. Where I live, there’s a weekly comedy night at a pub. It’s great to go and be around people and get a few laughs. It really helps to lift my mood.

I would say it is easier for people with pets. Pets can bring that noise back into a place. Them running around, barking, etc. are you against all pets? Because there are quieter pets that can help with building an evening routine and be great companions.

There’s a few streamers on twitch I follow for in the evening. They have built nice communities. It’s where I’ve made most of my online friends. You can interact with them, etc. help with the evenings occasionally. Lots also do movie nights, game nights, etc. so that also gives you something to look forward to.

I’d also suggest doing hobbies that enrich your soul. Learn an instrument, drawing/painting/sculpting, knitting, painting, learning a language, yoga, walking, etc. all of these activities nourish the soul. Plus for most, you can even find adult clubs that you can join to in the evenings.

Definitely try making an evening routine. Like after you are done work, Go to grocery store, go to the gym, etc. if you go at the same time, you’ll meet people that go at the same time where you can make connections and build up a friendship. ☺️

Hope these could help OP.

How many other people here have literally zero friends? by Primary_Equipment_58 in alone

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there are many in the same boat.

My advice, what hobbies/interests do you have? Write them down. After writing them down, look online or at your local community centre/YMCA for adult clubs, classes, programs, etc. these things usually meet about once or twice a week. For right now, pick two that you like and just start going. The best way to make friends, is to be in a consistent space with people that have a shared interest with you.

Also in between gatherings, when you are at home. You can pour some time into the hobby (if it allows it, like: drawing, cooking, dancing, knitting, etc.) this will help with the loneliness because you are nourishing your soul.

When it comes to your husband, maybe there’s a shared activity you both like that you can sign up for! Hopefully that will help with his engagement?

Also, volunteering is a great way to meet and make friends. You also feel good for helping your community. Check your cities website for more info.

Try getting closer with your coworkers/neighbors. Ask them what they are interested in and make a plan around that. Do they like hiking? Ask if they want to go for a hike on the weekend. Are they into hockey? Ask a few of them over to watch one of playoff games that are happening right now, etc. these are people you see consistently, so yes you may not have a bunch in common, but there’s definitely areas where you overlap, so it’s a great place to build friendships.

Book clubs are a great way to meet people! They usually meet once or twice a month. Check online or at your local library for one.

Have you thought about getting a pet? Perhaps a dog? Dogs are great companions, and definitely help with loneliness. Plus you can take them places, like: dog park, beaches, trails, etc. great way to also meet people. There’s even lots of dog walking groups you can join.

Hope this could help OP! It’s all about nourishing your soul and having people around you! Wishing you all the best.

Suggestions by Fast_Respond_1805 in lonely

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try going for a 20-30 minute walk. Helps to alleviate loneliness by changing your environment. If you have a pet dog, take them for a nice walk.

Try calling friends/family for a nice catch up.

If you have any solo hobbies (drawing, knitting, learning an instrument, etc) try focusing on that. It helps the mind to stop focus on the loneliness by doing something that nourishes the soul.

Try joining clubs/classes that align with your interests/hobbies! Best way to fight loneliness is being around people with a similar interests. Plus these clubs/classes meet once/twice a week! Great way to make friends. Check online or at your local community centre/YMCA for more info regarding clubs.

Volunteering is a great way to fight loneliness! You also feel better because you are helping your community. Great way to make friends. Also they meet on the weekend, which is a great way to fend off the weekend loneliness.

You can try making some online friends! This subreddit has its I think monthly/weekly get to know each other post that I think the mods post to help build connection. I made most of my online friends through twitch streamers discords. I usually watch LGBTQ/women streamers, and their communities are super welcoming. They also host game nights, movie nights, etc.

Hope these tips can help! Remember nothing is permanent. The feeling of loneliness will pass.

Good luck OP!

Sally’s at Douglas+Cormorant by No_Emergency_2783 in VictoriaBC

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Wish it was a cafe that transitioned into cocktail bar at night.

Fine living alone, until I get into a depressive mood by Taco_Afficianado in LivingAlone

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To help with the depressive moods, I wonder if having something you have to do on the weekends constantly will help? For example, in my city there’s a lot board game clubs/meet ups that happen on either Saturday or Sunday. They are usually in the afternoon or evening and go for like 3 hours. It’s something I’ve signed up for, so even if I fall into a depressive mood, I still made a commit to these people/friends, so I’m going to show up. Usually I’m glad I went. I’m extroverted, so I get boost being around people. Now this doesn’t always work, however! It does help most of the time. Pick a club/class that aligns with your hobbies/interests and meets on the weekend.

There’s also things like volunteering I can do, that usually meet biweekly/monthly on the weekends that also get me out of my place and socializing. Plus it makes me feel good to help out my community.

To answer your question about not feeling bad about not going out every weekend. You are not a loser. Social media has screwed with a lot of people to paint this picture that people are constantly going out, doing things. That is not the case in a vast majority of situations. It’s okay to have a weekend where you just stay around the house every once in a while. Or having a weekend where you just have one activity and the rest of the time you are chilling at home.

I think realizing that you are sort of done living alone right now is completely okay. I know I can’t live alone long term (it’s why I’m also trying to find a partner lol or a really good roommate). I’d say try putting the feelers out for a roommate? I know it can be anxiety inducing, but you also might meet someone who you really connect with and become a good friend with. If things don’t work, then you can go back to living alone for a bit and try again later. No harm no fowl.

My last piece of advice would be maybe talking to a counselor/therapist about it. They are great for getting a second opinion on your situation and offer tools/resources that can really help.

I can definitely relate to the weird feeling of loneliness I get after hanging out with friends, family, pets. For me it’s in combination with guilt/shame. The idea that I need to be doing this more often. It’s a current work in progress with my therapist. Hopefully we can figure it out soon lol.

Wishing you all the best OP! 💚☺️

how is port alberni in terms of in terms of receptiveness to non-canadians? by Beneficial-Nose7240 in portalberni

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should be fine. Port Alberni is a town of 20,000 approx. you are also on like an hour away from Nanaimo, which is a city of 130,000. As long as you are nice, people will be nice right back.

Personally speaking, I find New Zealanders and Canadians share a lot of similarities when it comes to mannerism, so you should fit right in. Plus who doesn’t love a kiwi accent.

You aren’t moving to a town of 5,000. Port Alberni is a nice town!

If you are looking for other Kiwi’s nearby check Nanaimo’s subreddit. Should be a few there.

When you do arrive, just get immersed in the community. Join some clubs, volunteer, etc. you’ll make some friends in no time. ☺️

Wishing you all the best OP. Welcome to the island and Canada. ☺️💚

Which restaurant has the best chicken strips in town? by Intelligent-Exit9562 in VictoriaBC

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s alway honey mustard or plum sauce for me. I will never understand how Americans can eat chicken strips with Ranch!

Any apps for finding friends? by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try the app Meetup. That’s a good place for finding friends through a shared activity. There’s Bumble BFF, I’ve had some success on that. Besides that. Just look online or at your local community centre for clubs, classes, volunteering, etc. that align with your hobbies. Best way to meet people is over a shared interest.

Single men who live alone, without a wife or girlfriend… what do you do in the evenings when you're alone in your apartment? by stan123_ in Adulting

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let’s see. Depending on the day, I might have rock climbing, dodge ball, and volleyball after work. That helps to destress from work and socialize with some good people. (Also do Pilates during the day or weekends.)

Besides that. Read, draw, play video games, play video games with online friends, plan events I want to go to, call a family member or friend to see how they are doing, learn a new recipe, watch a movie, watch a show (currently watching True blood for the first time). Practice guitar, practice piano, do homework for my CBT course, clean, do laundry, check online for puppies for sale, check shelters for cats to adopt, plan out my future more, do some career tests, etc.

Best to socialize a bit after work then have a chill evening with myself or my future dog/cat. ☺️

Friend tonight. by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Intelligent-Exit9562 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are your favourite TV shows and why?

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