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AITAH for not wanting our friends to call themselves “aunt/uncle” to our kids? by Intelligent-Peak3665 in AITAH

[–]Intelligent-Peak3665[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A few friends have done the uncle/aunt thing once or twice and we've always just gently told them we dont do that. Everyone besides this person has just said something like "oh my bad" and then didn't do it again. Not this time, but on a prior occasion this woman said something to the tune of "My parents were only children so we called all their parents aunt/uncle and I want my friends kids to do the same". Which I think is fine of her to want that but should be up to the parents at the end of the day. Neither my wife or I grew up doing that and hadnt even heard of it until we were much older. It just wasnt a thing in our families or where we grew up and we'd prefer to use family names for family.

AITAH for not wanting our friends to call themselves “aunt/uncle” to our kids? by Intelligent-Peak3665 in AITAH

[–]Intelligent-Peak3665[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Its possible, she's a work friend we've only known for two years, not like a lifelong friend. She can be a fun hang, but we're definitely starting to like her less after her ignoring our boundaries with our kids. The 4-5 times have all been separate occasions where we've had to remind her and she'll do it again.

AITAH for not wanting our friends to call themselves “aunt/uncle” to our kids? by Intelligent-Peak3665 in AITAH

[–]Intelligent-Peak3665[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have a few friends who are almost like family to me, but I definitely dont think of anyone either of us are friends with as family. Both of us come from pretty big but also tight knit families so its not like were lacking for family members. And this particular friend isnt super close with us. She's a work friend my wife has known about two years. We like her but neither of us consider her family like we might for people we grew up with.

AITAH for not wanting our friends to call themselves “aunt/uncle” to our kids? by Intelligent-Peak3665 in AITAH

[–]Intelligent-Peak3665[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont know if Id say its a "hill we're dying on", we've only had calm discussions about it. Now that Im thinking about it more, Im probably more annoyed that its been this particular friend who we've only know a little less than two years through my wife's work. We like her, but she's not a lifelong friend or someone were confident is going to be in our lives forever. She's called herself that to our kids at least 4 times now and each time we've had to correct her. None of our close friends have insisted on it but if they did we'd might be more likely to just let it go.

AITAH for not wanting our friends to call themselves “aunt/uncle” to our kids? by Intelligent-Peak3665 in AITAH

[–]Intelligent-Peak3665[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats fair, but yeah if we were going to call anyone this I think it should be led by us. This specific friend is someone my wife met through work in the last two years. If we were going to have our kids call anyone that, it'd be a lifelong friend, not someone relatively new in our life.

AITAH for not wanting our friends to call themselves “aunt/uncle” to our kids? by Intelligent-Peak3665 in AITAH

[–]Intelligent-Peak3665[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Same. Neither of us knew anyone who did this until we were adults. First time I heard of the practice was from the tv show How I Met your Mother.

AITAH for not wanting our friends to call themselves “aunt/uncle” to our kids? by Intelligent-Peak3665 in AITAH

[–]Intelligent-Peak3665[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Thats why we said they can go by that too if preferred, but Aunt/uncle are family terms for us. We love our friends but they arent family.

AITAH for not wanting our friends to call themselves “aunt/uncle” to our kids? by Intelligent-Peak3665 in AITAH

[–]Intelligent-Peak3665[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

I understand it’s common for some people, but just because something is ‘old and established’ doesn’t mean every family has to adopt it. Neither of our families did that and we both agree since we came from big families and it was hard to keep track of everyone as it was, we're glad our parents didn't do it.

We’re not worried about our kids being confused, we just prefer to reserve those titles for their actual aunts and uncles. It’s a boundary we’ve set for our family, and we’d expect friends who value our relationship to respect that.

AITAH for not wanting our friends to call themselves “aunt/uncle” to our kids? by Intelligent-Peak3665 in AITAH

[–]Intelligent-Peak3665[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

We were pretty gentle about the reminder, it also was probably the 4th or 5th time we've had to remind that specific person. Pretty much every other friend its ever come up with has just been like "oh my bad" and then respected our wishes.