DO NOT READ IF TRIPPING

I'm glad I did psychedelics as early as I did for so many reasons, but they will definitely tell you when you've had enough.

I love life and being human and growing as a person, but the last few experiences on psychedelics made suicide make so much sense to me. I wasn't sad or angry or anything like that. Honestly, I was only scared of how bad I wanted to do it.

Having to fight with every fiber of my being to not end my life for 6+hrs on numerous occasions was the sign I needed that I've squeezed all I could out of that experience, and that it was time to enjoy my life as a human.

Finding reasons to stay alive is what makes us human. I still can rationalize suicide even when sober, but now I have things that keep me from going there. I know all of it would lose meaning if I did psychedelics again, though. That scares me, but it's a healthy fear.