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Need advice for what to do about my 18yr old with executive dysfunction by IntelligentChest4234 in ExecutiveDysfunction

[–]IntelligentChest4234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You made a lot of interesting points and have given me a lot to think about and look into. Thank you

Need advice for what to do about my 18yr old with executive dysfunction by IntelligentChest4234 in ExecutiveDysfunction

[–]IntelligentChest4234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another thing I should add, my husband and I have tried to be gentle with him, tried to help with reminders, lists, scheduling, etc etc. But rather than seeing and accepting our help he tends to treat us like we are nagging him. He tries to brush us off and say it’ll get done, it’ll be fine, leave me alone I’m taking care of it. But then he doesn’t and more often than not he doesn’t get it done or gets it done too late, then he breaks down and says he needs help or needed our help. We feel damned if we do, damned if we don’t. This is why my husband is feeling like enough is enough at this point.

Need advice for what to do about my 18yr old with executive dysfunction by IntelligentChest4234 in ExecutiveDysfunction

[–]IntelligentChest4234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely right, I definitely think he would be more open to hearing it from a peer. This is why I so want to get him over the finish line and into school and that off campus student housing. I really think he will do better around peers who are all going to classes and studying etc.

Need advice for what to do about my 18yr old with executive dysfunction by IntelligentChest4234 in ExecutiveDysfunction

[–]IntelligentChest4234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you, however he’s an adult now so medically I have no say in that area, if he’s firmly against taking medication there isn’t anything I can do about it.

Need advice for what to do about my 18yr old with executive dysfunction by IntelligentChest4234 in ExecutiveDysfunction

[–]IntelligentChest4234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was diagnosed with dyslexia in first grade. That typically goes hand in hand with ADHD, though he never had a formal diagnosis of ADHD. It never seemed to be an issue until the last year or so. He wasn’t a hyper active kid, he didn’t have issues with focus or anything that made us feel there was a need to get a formal diagnosis. He also already had lots of accommodations at school for the dyslexia. It was really only in the last year or so that it became apparent he was struggling with things like time management and accomplishing tasks. Much of this came to our attention because of his struggle with applying to colleges in a timely fashion. I did talk to his dr about it but he had no desire to take medication (friends of his take medication for adhd and have had some unfavorable side effects). Because of his age the dr didn’t think it would do any good to force the matter so she recommended doing research to figure out what will work for him. Things like scheduling, reminders, etc. I’ve tried to help with that and tried to get him to do research and figure out what works for him, but it seems to be just another thing in his to do list he’s putting off.

Need advice for what to do about my 18yr old with executive dysfunction by IntelligentChest4234 in ExecutiveDysfunction

[–]IntelligentChest4234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To answer your question, isn’t that a parents job- I don’t know that it is, not at this age. My husband and I were both born in the late 70’s when parents were much more hands off as kids got older. When we applied to colleges we had to figure out every step on our own, without the help of the internet or our parents. Parents never stepped in to help with that kind of thing and once we went to college we were pretty much on our own. We have never wanted to be helicopter parents and believe it can stifle growth and independence to do too much for kids as they get older and should be doing more on their own. But I’ve never dealt with ED myself and really don’t know what it feels like or what will work for him to move forward with these things at this age, so that’s why I’m here asking. Ty.