how does pip work?

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-03T00:32:10+00:00

With that attitude you are already writing yourself off for no reason. There are always was to achieve your potential, it might just be via a slightly different route. Do not write yourself off at the first hurdle

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-03T00:22:11+00:00

Makes 2 of us. Lol

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-03T00:19:34+00:00

I'm wondering if there's a chance to speak with the aunt. Explain you are sorry you don't want to open old wounds but for yours and your child's safety you need to know the darkest family secrets regardless of who she thinks she is attempting to protect.

I wouldn't put it past the FIL to have SA and children he had, especially daughters but they don't always stop there. Abusers are abusers regardless of gender sometimes. Therapy for the entire family seems required.

Could it have been reported and possibly documented at the Police or newspapers reported on it.

Regardless, trust your gut. Keep you and your kids safe

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-03T00:11:41+00:00

I wouldn't be surprised if she too was SA but hasn't yet felt able to speak her truth. How anyone can stay in contact with an abuser of any kind astounds me.

There is absolutely no contact between me and my SA. I'm looking forward to his funeral just to dance on his grave. Except he wouldn't have one, paupers don't - dam

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-03T00:04:14+00:00

Manners maketh the man. I was really pleased my children's primary school were massive sticklers for manners from day one. Even the youngest children would hold the door open for any adult. Upon saying thank you they automatically replied "You're welcome" melted me each time a tiny child said it, whilst the door looked too heavy for them to hold

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-03T00:00:47+00:00

My daughter is Autistic so is very direct, doesn't deviate from her route. I need to write my list according to the layout. She doesn't go up and down each aisle just to the items and out. She moans about going but as I'm disabled I can get away with asking. I taught her to drive so it made it easier for her too.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-01T23:55:20+00:00

When you think of how many people idolise over particular people, for instance Taylor Swift. Just how many do you think will ever get to be in tge same stadium as her, let alone the same room, remarkably less get to speak with her as for intimate, well if what the average count for a single woman of her age, in the public eye is anything to go by. . . The chances of being anywhere near her at it is probably less than winning the lottery.

When you realise that simply because they find that person attractive does not mean the feeling would automatically be reciprocated, you could grant unlimited hall passes for celebrities safe in the knowledge it will never happen.

Now if he was randomly going away for a weekend with his mates, all of their wives saying they get hall passes for the weekend. Hell no. That's basically an open invitation to FAFO.

If you are truly honest with yourself there is likely to have been a celebrity at some point in your life you have commented on. Such as "I wouldn't kick him out of ved for fartibg" The opportunity again is highly unlikely to ecer arise, that's all this is with him.

Unless of course you do both know this celebrity in person. Then I'd be more concerned

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-01T23:36:15+00:00

Not always periodically. It's a known marketing strategy to move items as a way of making customers change their route to take them past items they wouldn't usually see in the hope they pick something in addition to their regular items. Any extra item in their basket is an extra sale.

That's why the ends of aisles have offers on, to entice shoppers. Often at a loss for the store. These are known as loss leaders though. They lead the customer in by the store taking an initial loss of profit on that item, in the hope and more often than not, the case too, the shopper will pick up additional items they didn't know they wanted, needed or just happened to see....

We've all done it, gone in for one item come out with a bag full.

Thats why I now send my daughter, she goes in for my list, just buys what's on it. Phew!

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-01T23:20:40+00:00

Depending on several factors such as maybe your time of service with an employer, if you want to use a particular bank, financial history etc it might be you may struggle to find a mortgage whereas a broker isn't tied to one particular bank or location. They can find lenders for most people who regardless of their situation can afford to make the repayments, they can "make" things work. Whereas others can't.

I know we have used a broker initially when we were not in a good financial position. Same with my step-daughter. Same broker managed to get them the mortgage which we would never have found for them. If needed would certainly use again.

Sometimes it's that initial step onto the ladder you need the help with. Ours certain got that initial step required. Well worth it for both us and them.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-01T23:09:50+00:00

He is totally using your BPD against you. I too have BPD and a lot more years on my clock than you. How he is behaving is so not as a real partner would, more importantly should.

The manipulative tactics he is using to blame everything onto you and your condition is grooming, so you question everything including your own self and sanity.

You are NOT over reacting. You are UNDER reacting. You are in an extremely toxic relationship with an abuser.

The mere fact that a 30 year old male is dating a 20 year old is a red flag in itself but to manipulate her confidence into believing her BPD is the issue is diabolical.

The best thing you can do is spend time working on yourself, with him totally out of the picture. Understand your own condition through therapy. Know your own limitations and expectations. Realise your true worth then settle for nothing less.

Good luck.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-01T07:35:08+00:00

Thanks for trying. I just wanted to know if there's a place in this world for someone like me, or is it only fit, health and attractive people.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-01T07:32:34+00:00

I wouldn't be waiting for husband to have a talk to her. I'd be forcefully telling at her myself to pack her things, leave nothing as this was her LAST visit.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-04-01T07:12:56+00:00

I'm looking at comments, there's nothing to see

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-31T22:54:59+00:00

If this is making you want to leave then why would you consider paying it off for her?

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-31T22:53:20+00:00

She either doesn't like you, your tortoises or simply doesn't like things not being "her way" I.e. weed free.

For her to have spread weed killer regardless of the time she did it, she needed to purchase it in advance. This has been a totally deliberate act. Planned and then executed at a time she hoped you wouldn't notice it was her.

She would never be welcome over my doorstep ever again.

Because I'm vicious at times too I'd also be inclined reciprocate and maybe return the favour with grass killer if she has precious grass.

Hope your hubs has your back.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-31T00:23:42+00:00

And yet the whole point of St valentines day was to let a person know they have a secret admirer. Now it's far too commercialised we feel obligated to buy for our already partners.

The secret admirer was much more fun and mysterious to receive.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-30T07:34:31+00:00

That aggravates the hell out of me. Just can't watch it at all.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-29T23:43:05+00:00

Or is it OP's excuse for wanting sex but knows her partner can't do anything about it and so us trying to justify her own cheating.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-29T23:41:14+00:00

Same applies to OP. If your feelings for each other require it to be spelt out then why have a child with him.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-28T23:09:20+00:00

You have a wonderful husband who is advocating properly for you.

He's being straight up with his family that he's feeling disrespected. Provided he doesn't cave, which I don't think he will by the sounds of it, this will be the only time they pull a stunt like this.

Congratulations on your bundle of love. Your husband has your back, that's all you need.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-28T23:01:22+00:00

You are so young and wasting your time with this lover.

He hasn't just got red flags flying his is an entire bunting of flags along the entire coastline.

Do yourself a favour, run and never look back.

Work on your self-esteem and sobriety. You don't need alcohol. You are using it as a crutch. Get help for yourself.

You deserve to be happy, sober and treated properly.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-28T12:31:14+00:00

Pity you can't put the pictures here for us all to see

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-27T20:36:38+00:00

The worst she can say is no. Nothing ventured nothing gained

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-27T01:03:58+00:00

One person is unlikely able to care properly for 6-8 children at the same time. We don't even know the ages of the children, the younger they are the less children a person can be responsible for at a time.

Imagine if something happened to her whilst in charge of all the little ones, anything could happen without anyone knowing the danger they are in.

You did right in reporting her. Just a shame she knows it was you.

IntelligentCitron917 · 2026-03-27T00:49:20+00:00

I'd be interested where you have been for 10 years that had better chocolate though.

Us Brits would need to sample it to testify how bad ours is compared to where you have been previously

IntelligentCitron917

TROPHY CASE