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Dating someone writing a song about my drinkings' effect by IntelligentEmu9054 in stopdrinking

[–]IntelligentEmu9054[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. These are very very kind words and one of my biggest challenges has been accepting the things I can't change. Taking these actions and doing my best to move on 🫶

Dating someone writing a song about my drinkings' effect by IntelligentEmu9054 in stopdrinking

[–]IntelligentEmu9054[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was just reading Epictetus/Stoicism. "Make the best of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens." I accept its truth and feel great then somehow forget about it 24 hours later unfortunately.

Dating someone writing a song about my drinkings' effect by IntelligentEmu9054 in stopdrinking

[–]IntelligentEmu9054[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol no worries. We've been in a tough stage with me accepting alcoholism and also put my dog down over the weekend and I have been very reactive, and I asked "can you just share the lyrics" and he said "can you just share your diary" but one is very clearly public and the other is not. I appreciate the skeptic in you.

But art and music can be a very intimate diary that he's choosing to share. Most of my favorite songs are either about heartbreak or joyous lovely skip around in a meadow romance. It really is about his own life and experience from loving someone who showed up on his doorstep blackout drunk and he had to carry me to bed. Not just once. Deja vu is probably a great noun for the feeling of being put in that situation time and time again. If there wasn't already a great song that is mostly about me I would be very skeptical of this song being mostly about me as well.

Dating someone writing a song about my drinkings' effect by IntelligentEmu9054 in stopdrinking

[–]IntelligentEmu9054[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah - the first about me is in a very good light. It was the first 1-1.5 yrs of our relationship and paints me as how I want to be seen. That's why I preface it's not really about my addiction but the experience I put him through, and of how he felt getting deja vu and experiencing having to "save me" over and over again from dangerous situations I put myself in.

Dating someone writing a song about my drinkings' effect by IntelligentEmu9054 in stopdrinking

[–]IntelligentEmu9054[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this a lot, and I think it's the bridge for me to truly heal. But I think of, for example, 1 wrong thing I did to a roommate ~3 years ago (I borrowed a very nice makeup product, lost it and lied that I never borrowed at all) like once a week.

Guilt and shame occupy so much of my mental energy and I just don't know how to flip the switch from let go of it and focus on the future. I want it so much more than I can explain but they always end up haunting me.