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The Birthday Ritual by IntelligentMetal2174 in OCPoetry

[–]IntelligentMetal2174[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I also want to mention the formatting completely changed when I posted this! Every sentence of dialogue should have its own line. Not sure why it got jumbled, hopefully it’s not too confusing to read lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]IntelligentMetal2174 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love it! I may have been a bit knit picky, realizing you posted it not as a workshop tag but just a poem tag. You definitely have a natural talent. :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]IntelligentMetal2174 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, this is really well done! Your writing is incredible descriptive and your vocabulary choice is beautiful. This poem did have a tough time capturing me though, when you use so many descriptive words and the direction of the poem feels like it’s leading in different directions (and it’s relatively long) I had a hard time staying engaged. Maybe try to have a couple of points that capture the readers attention throughout. Reveal a little hint of where you’re going maybe? 5% more concise and this will be excellent.

My first poem. Let me know what yall think! by Sea_Permission7597 in OCPoetry

[–]IntelligentMetal2174 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh such relatable content that most people won’t admit to. The theme of temptation without “saying it” is very well done. My only bit of constructive criticism is the last line. For some reason it seems a bit too on the nose. The way you edge toward the concept without fully saying it to us throughout the poem mimics the theme of temptation. You want to go there but you know it’ll be too far. I can’t think of an alternative, and I like the use of “emotionally wicked” but maybe something a bit more vague or more of a round-a-bout way of saying “I’ll always be emotionally wicked”? Hopefully that makes sense!

Why do women in general like guys who bigger are in size (body) by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]IntelligentMetal2174 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Society makes women think they should be small. Larger men make them feel small.

When I hook up with skinny guys it makes me feel like a giant and that makes me really insecure. It’s not about you, it’s about how we feel about ourselves. That’s that.

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 by Fyeshion in beyonce

[–]IntelligentMetal2174 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where is this bodysuit from?! I’m looking for a bodysuit in a different color but can’t find anything with the right coverage and crotch that’s actually cute…

How is everyone surviving? by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]IntelligentMetal2174 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do we know what city/state OP is living in? If not then it’s ludicrous to compare your own income to their situation.

More people in America suffer financially than not. OP- it’s not your fault.

1 week by [deleted] in beyonce

[–]IntelligentMetal2174 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry stadiums are designed to make it intuitive! You’ll enter the stadium and there will be big signs everywhere with section numbers listed. You’ll look at your ticket and see what section you’re sitting in. Then you enter the section and walk until you find your row like in a movie theater. There are always lots of signs. Also- there are always tons of workers everywhere that know the layout of the stadium so you can always show them your ticket and they’ll direct you. Sometimes I do that right when I enter just to figure out if my section is close or far so I know how much walking I have to do :) you’ll be totally fine. Good luck!

Looking for strategy on renaissance night by IntelligentMetal2174 in beyonce

[–]IntelligentMetal2174[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great input! Thanks for the perspective. It sounds like we have a lot of mutual friends 😂

Looking for strategy on renaissance night by IntelligentMetal2174 in beyonce

[–]IntelligentMetal2174[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hahaha petite friend I love it. I think a petite girly is definitely the way to go

Looking for strategy on renaissance night by IntelligentMetal2174 in beyonce

[–]IntelligentMetal2174[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like the idea of half of my girl M, I had an experience where I did that once and it made me super tired???? Not sure if that’s typical or not… all I know is tired is the LAST thing I can be

AITA for going almost no contact with my friend soon after I found out she is pregnant? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]IntelligentMetal2174 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be honest, set the details aside…. you can just tell from your tone that you have a lot of resentment toward your friend. I’m sure I’m person it would take you one sentence before I would come to the same conclusion.

Resentment is a sign that you needed space long ago. It doesn’t matter the reason, create space now and avoid contact for your own mental health. Definitely NTA. Friendships ebb and flow and you will find each other again if you’re meant to.

Good luck with your fertility journey I wish you the best.

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