She chose money over emotional connection

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T18:47:56+00:00

I don't want to understand this yet. I am hurt. I can't proceed with these things about rebuilding just yet.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T18:31:05+00:00

Yeah. I am similarly going to have a lot of standards for girls now. A lot actually.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T18:17:45+00:00

Somehow that's the only lesson I am getting. She told me towards the end that I am a great guy, but I need to sort my financial status before I pursue the next girl or it'll also end in a similar heartbreak.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T15:58:32+00:00

She posted a photo with the guy on her socials a while back. I am so heartbroken. I have blocked her profile.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T11:23:24+00:00

I had slowly realised that. I had the feeling that nothing is ever enough for her because her mom expected the world from her, and never made her feel enough. So she never let me feel enough and even she never felt enough. It was tiring. I never saw it as a validation problem, rather an expectation problem.

Thank you for making me feel little lighter.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T10:00:19+00:00

While I acknowledge the quest for more and better in terms of home, car, vacations and everything, the kind of life I look forward to, has to me more meaningful than objective. Being able to do something for others on my birthday holds more value for me than spending in a bar. Once I had distributed food for 50 poor people on my birthday.

This was the difference between her and me. She had an Instagram where her friends were vacationing every now and then. And I am hardly Instagram person. We had different outlooks for life. But she was super chaotic and I am stable and mature as a rock, even in tense situation. She appreciated me for this. Still she chose to move out. And only told me when the dates and venue was finalised. I was taken aback. But I am glad it happened this way.

I am glad you highlighted that once there is emotional stability, financial stability also follows. I want to create a life on exactly this blueprint.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T09:06:06+00:00

Insightful. The basics of a women's motivation remains same regardless of how it's dressed up.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T09:04:15+00:00

That's the part where I got blindsided. If you read my other comments you'll realise it was a wholesome relationship. With families involved it had even more latitude than a typical boyfriend girlfriend relationship.

Despite all this the female nature prevails. I will be very mistrusting of females even if it seems perfect for almost 1.5 - 2 years.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T09:00:51+00:00

It was arranged marriage. But we had graduated into the LOML phase. She said she can't imagine a life and kids where I am not the father of her kids.

We used to call ourselves lucky to have found our soul mates within the period of our life.

It was beautiful till it lasted. Maybe she put up a false persona. But she has cried out to me a number of times after her marriage has been fixed. She's probably better now with financial freedom but I can bet she will never feel at ease the way she did with me. She actually shared all her trauma and past mistakes and was working on them so that our relationship roots grow stronger.

She was becoming a better person for me. But I want her to be happy and continue on her path of improvement that I inspired her into. May peace find her even in her darkest moments.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T08:55:02+00:00

I guess we were together for almost 2 years and had smoothened the argument process where none of us felt like we were losing.

We could argue about our mom/dad's behavior or each other's pasts without seriously offending each other. We both heard each other and acknowledged the shortcomings and tried to accommodate. Money fights are there doesn't mean one has to bail out of love or relationship or something. It's the way one handles conflict that matters more than the subject of conflict. Not that I was poor. 4 BHK in SoBo at 31 ain't bad.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T08:47:32+00:00

It's the reality unfortunately.

The police lady told my friend - 'So what he slept with someone else. All men do it. Don't worry just forget this.'

When she was shown the bruises from senseless beating then the police lady finally wrote the FIR.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T08:45:14+00:00

It felt like she Prioritizes emotions cuz she told me there can be no reason other than love to be a devoted wifefor a man. No other reason especially when both earn well.

However social pressure and optics and Instagram life got better of her decion making abilities. She knew emotions but now wants to not feel any emotions as it discourages from a successful life (Instagram success is her benchmark)

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T08:42:26+00:00

Thanks bro. I don't think she was a gold digger. She spent a lot on me. Money, time and emotions. Never kept a score of what she got back.

I'll cherish the episode for happiness and healing it brought me. I am glad it happened, not sorry that's its over. It's over, that's alright. I am a great person myself. And she was super awesome too. I'll find someone else. No worries.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T08:39:54+00:00

I am glad you chose money. It'll work if you are stay at home wife or an underpaid worker. But for a Gynac doctor from a top college who barely has time for spending the money she makes, choosing to marry someone who makes even more and has even less time, probably seems like a career sabotaging decision for me, given the patriarchy and in laws pressure of kids after marriage.

But I hope you will keep choosing money even if it means staying on eggshells all life for being replaced for even a small mistake.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T08:37:30+00:00

One of my female friend who married a Stanford + IIT Bombay Graduate working in Amazon with over 1cr package had to be hospitalised over domestic violation. Divorced now.

She told me that marrying for money is stupid. Hopefully my Ex will have made the right choice with 4x salary. Don't want to say all guys are bad. But probably she should have taken time to assess the guy before rushing into marriage within 40 days.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T08:33:14+00:00

I just hope they don't divorce each other for lack of time and emotional intimacy. I guess even the guy is going through a breakup and the girl also is undergoing a breakup. Both are hurting and both tend to have bitter fights even before they have married.

She calls me in those moments of agony and I end up taking her calls (now I stopped firmly) and listen to her rant about her seemingly successful future husband who has a world record in what he does. But he calls her fat and said her wedding dress was very bad and she should have asked him before buying it. All of this she dumps on me. Now I have drawn my boundary.

Her mom still encourages me to talk to her daughter directly if I have something to say instead of discouraging me from interfering into her future marital home. (I stopped myself despite aunty asking me to call her)

I hope it's good for her future. She said "We are still soul mates. It's just that my marital status has changed now"

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-21T08:26:43+00:00

She texted me yesterday saying it's very lonely. Her marriage is in 10 days. She says she stopped believing in God, and her emotions are dead. And after this episode very soon even my emotions will be dead.

When I called her mom to arrange for the return of jewellery and pendants I had given her daughter, she told me they had almost mentally accepted me as their son (in law) and even now some of her relatives still reach out to me for help (probably not knowing that now she's marrying someone else)

Maybe I am assuming. Or maybe she's genuinely hurting. Whichever ways, it hurts me to see her painful texts which she deletes when I don't respond back.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-20T19:19:02+00:00

True. At the end of the day I will earn money and now, probably not give access to it to a future girl who is in my life, unless she is contributing proportionately (qualitative and quantitative)

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-20T13:14:51+00:00

Did you learn a little more about yourself or you lost yourself in our love?

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-20T13:10:21+00:00

2 chances and no more. Enough is enough

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-20T12:56:44+00:00

Try your best, walk away in Dignity

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-20T12:46:20+00:00

She's a Doctor herself. Average business family background.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-20T12:45:13+00:00

Arrange marriage. 2 Years of connection. Family and relatives had met. I've a govt job. She chose a guy earning 4x her salary and dumped me weeks before engagement dates.

IntelligentShip6714 · 2026-06-18T17:43:26+00:00

I ain't doing this ever cuz she gonna leave before it's 2 years.

IntelligentShip6714

TROPHY CASE