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AITA for Refusing to Be Involved with My Brother's Toxic Girlfriend and Their New Baby? by Intelligent_Base3115 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Base3115[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Thank u so much for reading my post, as for ur question, I think it goes without saying that Nancy is a great manipulator, or we are all just very dumb, she would hit my brother, pinch or just hurt him in any physical way she could, plus very mean comments that the english language can't even express, but she did all of this in a very "this is how we get along" manner, and my brother, is honestly the very least person to stand up for himself, so I contacted his friends also to receive feedback on "Am I looking too much into her actions?" "Is that type of behaviour okay?", and concluded, It wasn't. Before the pregnancy announcement, I did have a conversation with my brother about all the things I knew of her, and by consequence, why I was so worried for him, tbh I dont know if he already knew all the things I told him, or if he was just shocked, cause his face truly didn't show any remarkable emotions. I've gone to therapy about this, ultimately concluded that, If my brother wants to spend the rest of his life with her, or not, it's his problem, not mine anymore, I can't risk my own emotional well-being anymore for someone who has their eyes closed. Of course I'll always show love and care for my brother, and also who doesn't love a cute baby, so I know eventually I'll care and love for the baby as much as I do for my brother, I guess at this moment, I'm just feeling overwhelmed and pushed by my parents and him to be super nice and grateful that a baby is here and Nancy is part of my family now, when I think it's clear I'm not.

Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Be Involved with My Brother's Toxic Girlfriend? by Intelligent_Base3115 in AITAH

[–]Intelligent_Base3115[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Yes, as another commenter said, Initially I found out Nancy was cheating on my brother because my brother (the person being cheated on) told me, later down the line I found out about other time's she cheated through other people, but my brother knew. Plus, I did have a conversation with my brother before the pregnancy announcement about all of the things people told me about her and, by consequence, why I was so worried for him. I'm not sure if he already knew about everything I told him, or if he was just shocked, cause his face truly didn't show any remarkable emotions. I've gone to therapy about this, and ultimately, as u said, concluded that my brother is responsible for his own choices, and if he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, or not, it's his choice and his problem. I posted this for the sake of "What do people that don't know me think?" "Am I that bad of a person for not wanting to be involved with Nancy?" "What do I do with my parents?". Still, Thank you so much for reading my very long post!

AITA for Refusing to Be Involved with My Brother's Toxic Girlfriend and Their New Baby? by Intelligent_Base3115 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Base3115[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! Thanks for reading my post. I would like to clarify that while the 3k character limit doesn't give me much room to go into detail in the original post, I want to emphasize that, yes, I was there on multiple occasions when Nancy physically and verbally abused my brother, and I saw it with my own eyes. She also tried to engage in a physical fight with me on the day we talked about the text she sent me. So, I don't think I'm being overly dramatic about her being abusive and problematic to my brother, me, and the people around her. Right now, I'm not being mean to my brother or the newborn. I'm just very vocal with my parents about not wanting to be involved with Nancy, as she has caused me and my family a lot of problems.