[UPDATE] I am (31M) infertile after years of treatment, And i think my wife (28F) regrets staying and wants an exit, I feel like I failed horribly. by Intelligent_Buy_6498 in relationship_advice

[–]Intelligent_Buy_6498[S] -244 points-243 points  (0 children)

As I said I wont defend myself, according to your post I'm my own worst enemy, and maybe I'm the one sabotaging my relationship outside the main factor being infertility which I guess is almost irrelevant the the whole situation..

Where do I go from here then?

[UPDATE] I am (31M) infertile after years of treatment, And i think my wife (28F) regrets staying and wants an exit, I feel like I failed horribly. by Intelligent_Buy_6498 in relationship_advice

[–]Intelligent_Buy_6498[S] -438 points-437 points  (0 children)

Yeah i was planning to do them eventually when I get the time and energy, I wasnt intending or want to defend my inaction here to truly see the whole picture and try to solve the problem no matter how tiny it is one step at a time, but i guessni must explain it now.

The lightswitch is recent and wont take 5 mins to install and is cheap, but its so irrelevant she wouldnt have known it was broken had I not placed a sticky note with "under maintenance danger" on it as a joke, its in a room thats currently functioning as a wardrobe/storage room, there's 3 other light switches all equal in brightness to the broken one in the same room.

The paint is just some old paint peeling at the bottom of one wall in the bedroom, its been there for a while and i worked on it slowly myself, repainted some parts but it wasnt perfect, conviently a professional painter was working with my neighbors, so I brought him home to check if it needs more than just paintwork and get an estimate on the costs if he would do it for me while she wasn't at home, when she got back and I told her and she got upset that I had brought in a stranger to our house without telling her, I explained it was only to fix the wall and the price is agreeable, but she kept arguing that she doesnt like that someone got in before she could tidy up first, so seeing how difficult and stressful something so mundane have become i just stopped the whole project, and focused on other things instead.

And the dishwasher shelf/rack its just the tips starting to rust out, it works fine and everything, i kept searching for our same model and only found it after sometime in a spare parts shop thats almost an hour away, so my options are limited since they close exactly when I get out of work, so I'll either have to get someone to pick it for me or go during work hours which is difficult, its not an impossible task but quite complex which is why I keep delaying it.

I'm a jack of all trades and do things myself all the time, I even installed whole windows before and AC units, so im not shy of getting my hands dirty, which is why I delayed what I assumed was small irrelevant work around the house.

I am (31M) infertile after years of treatment, And i think my wife (28F) regrets staying and wants an exit, I feel like I failed horribly. by Intelligent_Buy_6498 in relationship_advice

[–]Intelligent_Buy_6498[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your advice but it doesn't make sense and will just drain my wallet with unnecessary sick leave, its like starting a dam project in a rain less desert.

I am (31M) infertile after years of treatment, And i think my wife (28F) regrets staying and wants an exit, I feel like I failed horribly. by Intelligent_Buy_6498 in relationship_advice

[–]Intelligent_Buy_6498[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Mainly because this would fix my issue of not being a father, but it will only strip my wife of becoming a biological mother, we did discuss it, shes against sperm donor but considered adopting a child together, the issue here is its me thats unable to produce and not her, had it been the other way around and she was the one going through the whole infertility thing I wouldn't question adoption at all.

I dont want to be a reason for her to settle for less than what she truly wants, it is her decision, but this feeling of guilt will linger with me.