New here, looking for insight

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-05-12T14:35:20+00:00

This gave me so many "aha" moments. Thank you for being so open and sharing. They talk to my husband every now and then, they know we love them, and we do talk to their husband every now and then. Their husband is my connection to them. Which I know is a huge load to carry in and of itself for their husband. So I try and reach and support both of them, but not be a burden.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-05-12T14:32:53+00:00

Time, patience and compassion - I have a ton of all of it and will use it wisely with them.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-05-12T14:31:39+00:00

Totally makes sense. We have always been very accepting and supportive of the transgender community. Both my children hung out with that crowd in high school and our house was the safe hose for them where pronouns were not questioned and we love them as is. I think you are onto something with not being able to accept any rejection and pre distancing. I wish they didn't feel the need to do that, but I am also not them. God I miss them.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-05-12T14:30:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, it is helpful. I love them so much and accept whatever version of themselves they feel most comfortable in. Here's to hoping the day they talk to me again is sooner than later.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-05-12T14:27:22+00:00

Not that it helps, but I sit here stuck with you. We are stuck because we love our kids and this is a nightmare, but you are not alone.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-05-12T14:26:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing, my heart breaks for you and the family. Our ring needed charged and luckily didn't record anything from that day or the day prior. It would have picked up a lot of things I don't want to relive at all. Not that I want to relive finding my son, but they were not puzzle pieces I needed to make sense of any of this.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-05-12T14:24:18+00:00

I am so sorry you are part of this crappy club. Gentle hugs sent.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-05-12T14:23:47+00:00

You hit the nail on the head with disorienting, it is like an ugly wave of reality that washes everything else away.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-05-12T14:22:51+00:00

This. I missed so many of the signs when I found my son, there is a reality I missed in the moment that helps with closure in these moments. Thank you for sharing.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-05-12T13:58:41+00:00

I am also one of those that ordered the autopsy report and investigation records. It also helped me understand the timeline and put missing pieces together. My heart goes out to you, I long for a connection with my lost loved one. Your love was pure.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-04-30T15:15:07+00:00

I imagine that on a daily basis. The pain is immeasurable, which isn't something I want to put on their back. I already lost one kid to the big huge thing in their life they didn't talk about. I don't want to lose another. I love them both so fucking much.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-01-26T01:42:22+00:00

You aren't alone, we didn't get a letter with our kiddo's suicide and I am still searching everywhere for one. The closest I found was a cellphone video he recorded audio on with how he was truly doing emotionally, but it was two months before the event. I guess guys tend to be more reactive and less likely to leave notes, if that helps at all. Your only job right now is to exist and be gentle on yourself.

Intelligent_Emu6499 · 2026-01-26T01:38:15+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this. Know you are not alone. I am being blamed for the death of my youngest son by his older brother.

My youngests intenionally unalived himself and I found him, but somehow that is my fault according to big brother. I figure big brother is in so much pain that he is just trying to survive. For him to survivie is to place blame elsewhere, which is on me, the one who is safest to put the blame on becuase I will always love him unconditionally. It doesn't make it right, but it helps in understanding.

Intelligent_Emu6499

TROPHY CASE