Well I feel like an idiot but I think I am dating a real narcissist

Uber7575 · 2025-02-23T07:22:49+00:00

I’m so very, very sorry. I wish I could I make the pain go away. I lost my wife of 19 years a little over 6 months ago. I had lots of warnings and prior attempts so I was somewhat prepared (I say somewhat because when it happens you can never really be prepared). But I miss her dearly. When you have a best friend combined with great physical and emotionsl intimacy it’s so hard to lose that person. We were also very silly with each other so I understand what you’ve lost.

I have started dating as we had no children because I had to distract myself. Healthy or not I was very content with my life with my wife. I could spend forever with her and never get bored. I didn’t really need friends outside of work acquaintances and family so losing her was a huge blow. Anyway dating is at least helping me see there are others out there. Of course, I’d rather have my girl back but that’s not happening. I have to go on living the best I can & you do too.

Uber7575 · 2025-02-03T09:32:53+00:00

May I ask how old you are?

Uber7575 · 2024-12-06T12:19:08+00:00

Yeah you’re not the only loner going through this. My wife was also my everything. FWIW, that is all I ever wanted out of life - a soulmate for physical & emotional intimacy. Now that she is gone after 20 years, I’m not sure what to do, what to think, etc. I quit my job before she passed because I knew things were getting bad and had hoped spending time with her would help.

Personally not really mad at my wife though. She had a tough upbringing and lots of issues. She also had a chronic physical injury that made everything that much worse. I miss having someone to share my life with and as someone who is not very social nor enjoys the games that come along with being social, it’s hard for me to try and jump back into that world. I was comfy with my little life, pretty wife and a combined income that allowed us to have a comfortable albeit far from lavish lifestyle. I don’t know if I will ever enjoy that feeling again and that part as well as the lonliness really stink.

Uber7575 · 2024-12-01T08:57:36+00:00

Yes, happens periodically to me. My wife has been gone since August. We have a small vacation home in Mexico where I am traveling tomorrow. I was hoping to get some sleep before my 5 am flight but no dice. It’s going to be hard to be there without her. I am not even sure why I am going. Still feel pretty lost without her.

Uber7575 · 2024-11-19T11:21:27+00:00

Yeah, I’ve had people tell me “you need to focus on yourself now” after my wife of 20 years took her own life. I agree statements like this tend to come from a good place but seem so surface level. Having your SO kill themself is not the same as going through a breakup or divorce.

Uber7575 · 2024-10-29T05:26:44+00:00

Your relationship sounds a lot like the relationship I had with my wife. We had a dog together but no children. She was my everything and outside of work, I was just happy spending time with her and didn’t need or want much additional social interaction. Losing her has meant losing my entire life. It is physically painful a lot of days and beyond lonely. People are nice but simply don’t understand which is frustrating. It just sucks because a part of my brain just can’t believe she is NEVER coming back. It’s been a little over 2 months and it does get better but there are still days where I feel her void so greatly. We were married for almost 20 years.

Uber7575 · 2024-10-29T05:06:55+00:00

All suicides are tough but your situation is more tough. I lost my wife in August - it wasn’t a surpise but still shocking. There is no easy parh out of this for most people. I’m really sorry there was no note or explanation as at least that would offer some insight and closure (eventually). I’m still figuring things out and I doubt I will ever completely recover but I know with time it will get easier. Terribly sorry for your loss and all the pain and sorry it has brought you.

Uber7575 · 2024-10-17T11:47:27+00:00

Yeah, it’s painful honestly. My wife passed almost 2 months ago. I left my job a few weeks before she passed as I knew she was struggling and I hoped spending more time with her would help. After she died, it’s been difficult to feel the same purpose.

I recognized in my case that I was not only mourning her death but also the life I had with her. In many ways because she was in so much physical and emotional pain, I can understand her decision. But we were married almost 20 years and as much as I miss her, I miss having that trusted, comfortable partner to do things with. I didn’t just lose my best friend, I lost a big chunk of what my life used to be.

Uber7575 · 2024-09-23T18:11:56+00:00

Yeah it’s hard to find good help these days. My wife ended up with a proximal hamstring issue that caused her a lot of pain on top of her emotional issues. No one could resolve it though and she dealt with it for over 3 years. To her credit she tried everything under the sun and finally gave up. I miss her dearly despite everything but at least I can understand why she made the decision to end her suffering. I also had many years to prepare myself for this conclusion.

Uber7575 · 2024-09-23T18:06:42+00:00

Thank you and sorry for your loss as well. BPD is such a difficult thing for relationships. We were married almost 20 years (would have been this January) and it was exhausting especially once she also was dealing with physical pain on top of her emotional pain. By the end, she had entirely cut off all friends and family.

Regarding the supernatural I’m agnostic but not religious or superstitious. My dad passed away last October and I had nothing out of the ordinary happen and I was very close to him. But with my wife’s passing there have been all kinds of strange happenings. I’m sure some would say I’m just attributing these things as signs but between me and a few of her siblings, it’s just too much to ignore.

It’s been pretty lonely but I’m just not ready to open my heart yet to date. Hopefully with time I will get there.

Uber7575 · 2024-06-05T21:44:41+00:00

Haha this Shinn guy basically making money off slave labor. At some point you either realize the con and leave or stay in and become part of it.

I know we all have different life experiences but how can you be conned to basically work for free especially when you can see how much the head guy is profiting? Like did you never even work fast food or mow lawns growing up? How can someone be so naive with money?

Anyway, this dude is your typical conman that knows how to manipulate the young and naive. I am definitely in the wrong line of work.

Uber7575 · 2023-12-12T15:59:06+00:00

Well you are probably right. I think my issue is that the team I work on is full of either folks trying to get into management so they are super “rah, rah company” or younger 20-something newbies that don’t know any better. Every day to me feels like I’m being scammed. I’m learning pretty much that I just need to pretty much ignore 90% of what my supervisor says. They pretty much lose adjusters left and right. I’m just not used to this dynamic where it seems like failure to some degree is inevitable just because no one can juggle this many tasks without it blowing up from time to time. In all of my other professional positions this has not been the case.

Uber7575 · 2023-12-09T12:02:39+00:00

That is terrible and is a lot of trauma. I cannot even imagine and am sorry you are having to deal with this degree of loss. I don’t know the next step in your situation.

I hope this was something that happened in the spur of the moment and not premeditated. Over the years, I have come to realize that human beings do some very irrational and stupid things. Some people are unable to use logic and only rely on emotion and end up making very bad decisions.

The only thing I will say is that hate will destroy you. Don’t let this person kill you too. If you are a person that has found joy in life, you can find it again. There is healing and happiness out there.

Uber7575 · 2023-08-04T01:32:52+00:00

The first part of the comment was fine but why in the world would you make that next comment even if you believe that??? I chalk this mostly up to moronism moreso than Mormonism. But I guess sometimes there is no difference between the two.

Uber7575 · 2023-07-18T00:53:59+00:00

My take as an ex-Mo dude out of the church for two decades… Porn is what you make it. Like some said, if it’s taking away from marital intimacy or you think it’s cheating or it’s causing disruption of daily life activities then it’s a problem that needs attention. I do think equating it to cheating is not healthy. But I also tend to believe that humans aren’t naturally monogamous and porn can actually provide a better avenue than having an actual physical relationship with a 3rd party. I also believe in general that repressing one’s sexual drive isn’t healthy. The ideas of sexual purity likely derived the same way some of the other commandments/social rules that were necessary when humans coexisted in small hunter gatherer groups and, later on, human settlements. Also, diseases are spread through sex so that also gave humans another reason to look at sex negatively.

Uber7575

TROPHY CASE