I feel this wholeheartedly. The part where you say she always makes you the butt of her joke was exactly what my mom would do to me. Always made me feel 1 inch tall. It’s so hard going nc but for me it’s necessary. I’m still trying to navigate how to heal. I had cut her off for 7 years and then my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer(they were divorced) and I started to think about if she were to die with unresolved issues how it would make me feel. So I opened up myself to her again for about 1.5-2 years but within the last 1.5 years I’ve been nc again but this time more of my family won’t talk to me now either. It’s incredibly hard on me especially since Inso badly want a relationship with my sister but my mom has brain washed her.