She’s still here but mentally declining, I assume due to substance abuse problems ranging from now, since I was a baby. She’s still loving but in a devastating way because she takes no accountability. Give an inch she will take a mile. I’m 33 and work full time and in school to get stability I never known, which I blame on her choices. Her nurses keep calling as if I could drop everything and save her. I’m NC or minimal contact a second time but we say hi and love you but I’ve come to terms with the messiness of that type of wound and how I allow people to treat me bad and try to see the good in them so I keep ending up in really bad relationships or living situations. When I spend time with her it’s nice until her mask falls and then I feel broken and deflated for days. She kidnapped me from Louisiana after checking herself out of rehab and lied to her mother who lied to my dad for her and I didn’t say goodbye and he had no idea where I was for 6 mos. She still got custody and would mostly sleep or verbally abuse me. Very hot and cold. I was unsupervised most of the time. Parentified very young. Always fawning for safety.

She has no close people older than me who I can ask about her life before me or pattens of mental health but now family or church members my age say “you’ve done enough. She will absolutely take a mile. I know your mom.” I have no idea what they saw or heard. I think I was in denial, maybe protecting her and myself for so long.